Good to know...

I could survive for 54 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

How long could you last?

The "Thank God it's over..." sleepies?

This is one of those posts where you guys get to tell me that I'm completely normal, or conversely that I am a weirdo and these things only happen to me :D

The last few weeks have been full on, like pressure-cooker style - two major assignments due and an exam shortly after that (today in fact). My social life didn't have the decency to taper off I'm not the world's most solid sleeper at the best of times so I generally boost through these times on a mixture of adrenaline, caffeine and sugar (and believe me, my ass and skin pay for it). My exam was this morning, I caught the train home and ... kaput. All the caffeine in the world wouldn't drag my butt off that couch this afternoon. I was EXHAUSTED. I'm at work now and even typing this, I'm managing at about half speed. It's like my body realises that there's no immediate next thing to go on with and decides to close for stocktake. And it's like this every time my life gets full on and is a small part of the reason that marketing and PR is not for me - you can have several months of quiet planning and then several products go live at once.

Am I the only one that does this giant fatigue? Are you all so super-time managed that this doesn't happen to you? Do I need to start saying no more often? Not that it would have helped this time - sure my lecturer would have loved to hear me refuse her assignment LOL. Two hours of work to go and then I can be united with my pork roast dinner and continue my passionate love affair with my new duvet.

Awesomeness...

I'm sitting at my desk at work with my eyeballs about to fall out of my head with tired acheyness, struggling to stop the keyboard from making a Qwertyuiop on my head as I flop down onto the keyboard, eying up the clock to see when I can go home and just flop into my bed and yet I'm oddly happy... why is this?

I handed in my last essay for the year today! Two exams (one on Thurs, one on the 17th) and I am done. As much as I have really enjoyed studying something that I love this year, I can't deny that I am supremely grateful that my summer holidays are just around the corner.

Other things I'm grateful for today?

• Building an awesome friendship with one of my cousins - there's less than a year between us, but we also have another boy cousin closer to his age. Growing up, I always hung out with the next cousin up the tree from me (about five years older and a boy - he must have LOVED me tagging along) and M always hung out with A. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, even though he lives further away than ever before, I'm his go-to wise chickie-cousin and he's my convenient place to stay in a gorgeous beach town LOL.

• My new duvet - an early christmas present from the 'rents. Even though I have a queen sized bed I've been coveting a king sized duvet that I can really snuggle up under. In the Labour Weekend Sales Mum and I picked up a wool-filled duvet inner for incredibly cheap and I swear it is like sleeping in a cuddle! A cuddle that is just the right temperature even. On Friday I intend on staying in my bed ALL day.


• A brilliant Jubilationz concert on Saturday, spending lots of time in blustery winds (but no rain!) with like-minded people. Followed by dinner and hanging out with a wonderful guy and meeting his mates at a house overlooking the harbour and the city - the view just BLEW my mind.


• A lovely relaxing overnight trip with Navywife and Ms. Bee - pretty incredible to still have strong friendships with girls (well, now women) that I have known for so long. I'll have known Ms. Bee for 20 years in 2009 and I've known Navywife since we were both foetuses! Three swims in the hot pool in less than 24 hours and girly gossip sessions were totally worth putting up with Navywife's snoring!

Other things that made me smile: underwear shopping, cute little kitties trying to bludge fish and chippies, the fact that the cute boy liked Chi Mineral Water as much as I do, the thought of a sleep in tomorrow, a caring boss, green lights all the way down Symonds St, the teeny tiny bun my hair makes now when I tie it up after my big chop and the way it does early-twentieth century curls when wet and "Red Sky at Night, Shepherd's Delight".

What's sparkling for you guys?

Saturday afternoon of lurve...

Today I'm loving:

• Having people stare at me while I am waiting to order at the bar and singing and dancing to Kenny Rodger's "The Gambler"
• Waves from random people on the drive home
• Meeting up with someone awesome for an outdoor concert tonight
• Hot Pools - this time tomorrow afternoon I expect to be soaking in a hot pool, easing my knotty muscles
• Mum having her good weekend in her chemo cycle... she's so much happier when she's not cooped up in the house.
• New haircut - yay!

The Universe talks to me...

Does it talk to you?

"A Community Service Reminder from the Universe:
Natasha, your gifts are innumerable; your depth is incalculable; your presence is unforgettable.
Your touch is healing; your style is appealing; your power is mind reeling.
And you are loved and adored on a moment-to-moment basis, more than you can now comprehend.
Just like we planned - The Universe"

No matter what belief system you subscribe to, there is no doubt that these little notes from the universe can brighten your day just like a concerned email from a dear friend. In times of stress and self-doubt (and isn't exam time brilliant like that??) it's definitely one of the tools in my arsenal. Check out Totally Unique Thoughts (TUT) if you need a little boost in your day.

Update: Added TUT link, it appears my mind is solely focused on the story of Beatrice Joanna and Deflores... bonus points if you have any idea what I'm talking about.

Losing my shit...

Wow... I exploded yesterday! Talk about a little pressure cooker tanty that had been boiling away for quite a while. With the stress of exams coming up, assignments and not enough time to have a life I just went ka-boom! It cleared the air around here though, so I can't regret it too much.
Expect posting to be somewhat haphazard until the weekend... it's not that I don't love you LOL.

Last give: I bought my parents afternoon tea... they deserved it :)

Taking the night off...

So often I feel committed to doing things in the weekend, especially at nights - going out with friends, parties, the whole social butterfly kit and caboodle. But keeping up the energy levels after a week of uni, part-time work (usually about 15-20 hours) as well as all the other assorted bits and pieces that I'd never want to give up (like this blog) is sometimes very difficult. After my usual "partner-in-crime" decided to head down the line this weekend, I made the scandalous decision to do absolutely nothing with my evenings this weekend. Scandalous, I know! Last night I caught up with a whole lot of little bits and pieces I had been meaning to do, and tonight I watched a girly chick flick "Cake" and then I'm going to curl up in bed and have a relatively early night. Belissimo! Believe me, my skin is telling me it could do with the extra beauty sleep at the moment :)
BTW... think I have found my new summer fragrance - Viktor & Rolf "Flowerbomb"... was describing it to TJ by telling him I smelt like the lovechild of a cupcake and a rose garden and the packaging is to DIE for. Now all I have to do is save my pennies to buy it LOL

Give yesterday: My time - I filled in for mum with an obligation she had that she could no longer do.
Give today: Bought my mum her favourite type of fizzy lollies

Wishes...

Photo Credit

I wish I was back in the garden that my grandma used to have, dangling my legs over the side of the pond bridge with no larger cares than what biscuits I was going to have at afternoon "smoko" before Poppa went out to milk the cows...

I wish it was New Years Eve the first time I was allowed to stay up until midnight - giving all the adults foot massages and having the smallest glass of bubbly to ring in the new year...

I wish I was sitting outside KFC, waiting for my love to come back and satisfy my cravings the first time I ever had the "munchies"...

I wish I was lying on a beach, hearing the waves crash, sleeping under the stars with a cute boy...

I wish I was having a soy mocha latte in a little pavement cafe anywhere in Paris - and if anyone could tell me how to order a soy mocha latte in French, I will love you forever!

I wish I was walking down the aisle sure that the man I was walking towards would be my love forever...

I wish I was opening the door of my own home with a baby in my arms, welcoming friends and family to a wonderful and entertaining party...

I think your twenties is such a peculiar time... part of me feels so old, the innocence of my childhood and the rebellion of my teens has been left far behind. Responsible me pays the bills, budgets her cash, plans for the future and works hard. Part of me feels incredibly young also, not hitting these milestones that my friends seem to be reaching- feeling like an imposter in a grown up world of mortgages, wedding registries and nipple guards. Yet it's not like I feel a huge urgency to join them - I still have my childish moments, like an arguement this morning with my sister in which I yelled out "Where on my forehead does it say 'B*tc#-slave???' (sis)". Confusion abounds, but it's not necessarily a bad thing that I straddle both worlds... it makes me a better 'auntie' to my nieces and I learn plenty from the mistakes of others. All dreams in time will come to me :)

Give: Home made muffins to my sweet friend CM... she's been such a shoulder to blurt on lately and a source of much joy.

Blog Action Day - Poverty!

As a uni student (especially one who has come from the full time work force) it is so easy to proclaim that you are poor or you are broke... with the cost of living rising, what my meagre income could purchase at the beginning of this year will buy me less now. When friends are buying houses, funding weddings, purchasing boats and you are trying to toss up between going out this weekend and finally replacing that pair of pants that are close to death, it's easy to whinge.
Then you meet with some people that have been administering aid in Nigeria. They tell you a tale of a family haunted by the evils of HIV. A husband made "redundant" from his job that is the only income for his family... his five-year-struggle to get the pay out from the company in which he showed up to the headquarters every day. How their mud floor of their house would get unbelievably muddy whenever it rains and how grateful they were when a donation paid for a concrete floor in the house - that they considered they were living in luxury because they no longer had to wallow in ankle deep mud in wet weather.
This couple then went on to tell me about their children who are currently working in Amsterdam, one of the hubs of human trafficking due to the large sex trade there. They opened my eyes to the fact that there are currently more people in bonded labour (human trafficking and the slave trade in some eastern countries) then there were prior to the emancipation of African slaves in America. These people, often working in brothels or other sub-humane conditions, truly do live in poverty. They own nothing - even the clothing on their backs is not theirs to call their own- and they live in a cycle of fear and recrimination, unable to escape.
I'm living in poverty? Yeah right!

Give: Purchased a "Love Your Body" t-shirt to support EDEN - a network to support those with eating disorders.

Short and sweet...

As some of you may know if you've been following my "tweets" I found out yesterday that I have been walking around for about the last month with a dislocated shoulder. Was in too much agony yesterday to type and I'm still being really cautious today as I don't want it to pop out again. Much love to you all and expect to resume regular postings very soon.

Give yesterday: Donation to Plunket (for non-Kiwis, that's our national foundation that assists new mothers)
Give today: Donation to Gilda, one of my fav bloggers - she's doing the hard yards in NYC and I wanted to let her know that I appreciate the work she does on her blog :)

Priorities...

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

So often in life we get caught up in the average, the mundane and the unimportant... this guy truly has his head screwed on right! This video was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes and shows (well, I think) that the world would be a better place if we could all just get along and dance together - or even just let others dance free (like in the Korean Demilitarised Zone....so cute!) You're an inspiration Matt!

Give: A small one today - put twice as much as usual in the collection plate at church

Subconscious...

I got home last night in a bit of a funky mood... events for that evening hadn't gone as planned, my plans for today had gone awry, I was tired, I had hayfever (damn you perennial rye grass) and I was lonely and bored. There's a few complexities of life I had weighing on my mind and was in a real "Why me?!?" state of mind. I'd calmed down enough to go to sleep, but my subconscious had other ideas.
Whenever I'm uptight my subconscious likes to make these long and extremely vivid dreams in which all the things that are on my mind play themselves out in abstract ways in order to come to some sort of conclusion... I always wake up completely exhausted the following morning but with my heart a lot lighter. Still... there's got to be an easier way, isn't there people?
Just watched Blade Runner as part of a university assignment... after reading Dick's book "Do Androids dream of Electric Sheep?" I can't really see too many similarities... many movies should prefix their "Based on a novel by..." with "Loosely" - perhaps then I wouldn't expect so much LOL.

Give Today: Bought my father a jar of homemade marmalade this morning at the fundraising garage sale I went to, told the girl at the garage sale to keep the change *Double Give - yay me!*

The Big Give...

I'm doing the 10 Day Give Challenge put forward by Christian PF - I think no matter what your personal religious (or non-religious, or polytheist) views are, giving to others is one of the most special things you can do. It doesn't have to be anything spectacular, it has to be thoughtful and from the heart. It should be unusual (I could cop out on Sunday for example and give a gift to my sister as it is her birthday, but I would have done that anyway) and unexpected by the recipient. So for the next ten days I'm playing sparkly little Fairy Tasha and each blog entry will have at the base of it what was my extra-special give for the day

Give: Chocolate brownie bought for my boss and put on her desk with a little "Happy Friday" note

"Cleaning out my closet"...

Photo Credit to "Why not talk about it?"

No, not in a Slim Shady sort of way... although there's been plenty of figurative cleaning out of my closet this year too! When I moved home, the room that I moved into had been used by many of us kids and our friends and our friends (my parents like to pick up strays) over the years and in the five years that I had not lived at home, the law of Kipple had seemed to have come into play (bonus points if you get the reference, this relates to the assignment I'm working on that is due next week!) and I wedged my clothes into the spaces left over, keeping a lot in suitcases and boxes under the bed, etc.

In the intersemester break I finally got around to climbing up and into the cupboards to find out exactly what it was that we were keeping up there, and why... So much of it was paper! Possibly every school book that my sisters and I used in our primary years was up there, issues of Consumer Magazine from before I was born (and what do you know, McDonalds was a sometimes food even all the way back then) and posters of celebrities we lusted over that we haven't for many years... does anyone even know what happened to Devon Sawa? There were the bits and pieces of children's games we'd long outgrown... a set of girly blocks... some stuffed toys we'd left behind. Some of it was special, and some of it could be rehomed but a lot of it was trashed. Maths books from when you were eight usually don't hold any sort of special memory so it was off into the paper recycling they went. Story books and such went into the "rehomed" pile and have since been donated to a church garage sale where they can find a much more age-appropriate home.

What was special to me was what I kept. I held onto the books that I'd written stories in - so funny what you think is a big deal when you are nine! I'd written journal entries in standard four about how I was rained upon on the way to school and was going to get hypothermia! At seven I'd written a big story about how I'd had an argument with my husband and how our kids Simon and Sally had told us to stop it! These stories had me and my parents rolling around on the floor with laughter and they were a good idea to keep for further laughs in future. I found a gorgeous little dress I wore when I was small and I hope some day I have a daughter who can wear the same dress. Possibly the most special thing I found in the cupboard was "Jason"...

The background of this story is that my parents have always been cat people - they had a cat daughter before they had real daughters and since then a succession of feline companions (or two... or three) has wound its way through the legs of the Scribbles Snr household. Scribbles herself has always felt more like a dog person (and found out last year that she is allergic to cats... my subconscious must have always known LOL) and has regretted the fact that she was born into a household where cats are so firmly established.

Being the highly imaginative and creative wee girl that she was, Scribbles was not going to let the fact that there was no actual barking canine on the property prevent her from having the little puppy that she so desires... and everyone knows what actually makes the dog is the fact it has a leash right?

Enter Jason... originally Daddy Scribble's work torch, it came with a long string handle so it could be casually slung over the shoulder, leaving both hands free (I know, trendy yet utilitarian... so eighties right?). Little Scribbles used to drag Jason Torch-Dog around the house for hours by his "leash" making him jump and bark and sit on her lap for cuddles while they watched Play School.

And the Scribbles parents are possibly the only people in the world who understood why a grown woman ran down the hallway to the lounge holding an extremely old red torch in her hands going "OOOOOOHHHHHMMMMYYYYYGODDDDD IT'S JAAAAY-SONNNNNNN!"

You can bet your sweet bippy I didn't throw that one out :D

How soon?

How soon is too soon to move on from a relationship? It seems to be a really hard thing to measure... I know that the relationship I was in April this year was far too soon after Ex-S but then I have other friends who have made the leap from one relationship to another and have quite literally lived happily ever after.
Of course you know there's an ulterior motive behind this... I've met this guy (let's call him Bob the Builder or BtB for short) who seems to be pretty awesome but has only been single for three weeks... hrmmm... I guess it's a case of taking things very slowly and seeing how we go. It seems silly to dismiss a guy who seems great purely on the basis of timing.
Thoughts and/or experiences, readers?

Forgiveness...

Being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies - Unknown

It's an interesting topic, forgiveness... we often hear exceptional stories of forgiveness in the news with victims forgiving their attackers, families forgiving those who have killed their loved ones - big acts of forgiveness that we might find unconscionable. Yet we don't think about the small acts of forgiveness that we could and should participate in.
Ever had a friend say something unkind to you? It could just have been in passing, she may not have even realised that you were offended. Yet you sit there silently stewing about it. Lying in bed that night, you think about it over and over... How could she have said that? Next time you meet up, you are already approaching this point of connection with a negative attitude - you're just waiting for her to say something else. Your friend is blissfully unaware of all this - your negative attitude is only impacting you. It's not something that you necessarily need to bring up with your friend, but something that you need to release in your heart. Mentally, just let it go... It's not the same as forgetting it ever happened, but it is putting it in the past and letting you move on with your future.
It seems so easy to hold a grudge, especially when the person has hurt you deeply. I was so mad at Ex-S for so long after we broke up... how dare he break up with me? How dare he break my heart? How dare he move on so quickly (he was seeing someone else within a week of moving out of the house we shared)? How dare he act like such an immature baby and never speak to me again? For months I was this dual personality - shiny happy bubble when I made the effort but little rotting ball of insecurity, anger, self-loathing and pity when I just didn't have the strength. Gothica, on her annual trip over from Oz, was surprised at how much I had changed - how miserable I was, considering I didn't put up a facade with her. I wasn't interested in forgiving Ex-S... he had broken my heart, ruined my hopes and dreams and basically enforced my fears that I wasn't "good enough".
The change actually came about when another guy in that particular group of friends started texting me anonymously saying nasty things - I actually thought that it might have been the new gf. When I found out who it was, I was devastated. I stopped hanging out with those friends to a large extent and ventured out into the world, making and strengthening other friendships that I had perhaps been neglecting to do while I was with Ex-S. These friends encouraged me to make positive changes in my life and I knew that one of these changes I needed to make was to forgive Ex-S. He'll never know (we don't talk) and even if he did, I doubt he'd care but this process of forgiveness makes ME feel so much better. It's been a process and I don't think that I'm fully there yet but it is nice to release that pain and put it in my past so that I can move on and have a successful and happy future. As the quote at the beginning of the article says, it's pretty daft of me to keep on drinking the poison and hoping that he'll die!
So how about you possums? Is there someone that you should try and forgive? Are you holding onto grudges that only serve to make YOU feel rotten and awful? Remember that it's a conscious process - in the words of a certain televison ad "It won't happen overnight, but it will happen". Take the first step towards forgiving someone today!

I'm a bit partial to penguins...

I've had this post up my sleeve for a while... my favourite animal has to be the penguin! There's just something cute about that little waddling bird butt and then their absolute grace under water that endears them to my heart. I think it may have stemmed from when Dad and I found a little penguin stranded in the rock pools while staying in Papamoa... getting to see a creature of the wild up close and personal before setting it free sets that connection in your heart!
In saying that, I'm fairly sure that most 21-year olds didn't beg their parents for a penguin Care Bear Cousin for christmas! Cosy Heart is my only bed companion at the moment. I've also included my penguin shoes (are they as awesome as you had imagined, Gilda?) and my absolute favourite penguin lollies on this post - the black and white ones actually taste really fruity!
So now you all know my secret obsession - it also makes me lust after boys in tuxedos LOL. What's your secret obsession?

Huh...

I had the best time away this weekend... and it was about at this point as I was strolling along the beach with PCock that I decided I'd really like to try living here. I'm somewhat committed to living in Auckland for the next year while studying and then it may be easier to get my first job there (where my contacts are) but sometime in the next ten years I want give it a go - the city speaks to my heart...
Didn't expect an epiphany while away for 24 hours LOL

Incommunicado...

Photo credit: Mt Maunganui Hot Salt Water Pools

Aloha my lovelies! I've been informed by my sources that this means both hello and goodbye and so it's a very apt opening for this post. There will be no post tomorrow (and poss Sunday)because I will be be here, soaking myself under jets just like that person in the foreground. PCock and I are running off to the place fondly known as the Mount tomorrow morning for 24 hours of girlie fun! We've managed to find a cheap twin room to share ($30 each for the night) and I'm planning on spending most of the day on the beach, most of the twilight hours in the hot salt water pools at the foot of the Mount and most of the night in the bars keeping an eye on PCock while she drowns her sorrows, dancing my little feet off and hanging out with my Tauranga based cousin. You've got to love a weekend where your hardest decision is whether to spend your "fun money" on a massage or a divine dinner!

Also loving the fact that I'm having a girlie night tonight with the FPC girls. While I'm the only single one, all the boys will be next door blowing each other up... *cough cough* I mean LANing(is that even a word?) and we're going to curl up and put on face masks and nail polish and watch chick flicks! After working 19 and a half hours in the last two days, it's so all I feel like doing!

Hope you all have as great a weekend as I do! Look forward to hearing about it all on Monday!

Counting my blessings...

In this world, it's so easy to get caught up in what we don't have... I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have a lot of money, I don't have another job for the Christmas holiday slump period. I sure as heck don't have a body like Jessica Alba - if anything I represent a lumpier version of Kim Kardashian! But you know what is so freeing?

NONE of this matters...

I don't have a boyfriend? It's sure better than having the wrong boyfriend, one whom I've outgrown or treats me badly. It gives me the freedom to make choices purely on what's right for me, rather than having to orchestrate huge compromises. It means that I have the opportunity to build stronger relationships with other important people in my life.

I don't have a lot of money? It makes me more careful about the money I do have. On the search for the mythical perfect cardi I've found many that would 'sort of' do the job but haven't purchased any. I would rather save my cash in the hopes that the ideal cardi comes along. I also am by no stretch of the imagination poor, poverty is not an issue. I'm able to pay off debt, save and give - I'm definitely making the most of what I have, even though it is less than what I am used to.

I don't have a second job lined up? At least I'm grateful for having the first... I have an awesome job with great people. I have a couple of months before I'm looking at working a second job anyway. I have a large network of friends and by communicating my need to them I'm increasing my chances of finding a position that suits me.

I don't look like Jessica Alba... it's not part of my job to look slim and athletic. It is part of her job, she gets paid partially because of her attractiveness. Sure, I may not be a particular man's cup of tea because he prefers a body shape that's different to mine, but that's his loss. The right guy will like me for who I am, not what I look like anyway. I want to lose weight, but that's a health issue as opposed to a size issue... I will never be an Sz 8 (quite frankly, with curves like mine I doubt I'll ever be a Sz 10) and I've grown to love my hourglass shape with the "child-bearing" hips and embrace my va-va-voom!

It's just a waste of time to get upset about things that aren't important in the grand scheme of things, and things that we have very little influence over. What things do you start thinking negatively about before realising that you can flip it all around?