Another addition to the "I want" list

Was doing my "social admin" last night, trying to get several things sorted at once (yay for being a woman and multi-tasking). Part of the organisation was using Facebook Chat to make plans with my friend K regarding her housewarming party on the Saturday after I get back from Christchurch. Now the set-up of my "office" at the moment is on my small dining room table - not as odd as it sounds and left over from the period when I lived with Ex-S - next to my father's computer desk in the open plan lounge/dining room/kitchen area (the dining room table is actually smaller than my dad's computer desk). For those of you that don't use Facebook Chat, it makes a small sound, probably best described as popping, if you get a message and are in a different tab than the one that has Facebook up and running - useful to alert you that you've had an IM reply. My dad turns round at one point and starts this tirade about how this popping sound is intensely irritating (he really does get grumpy-old-man sometimes) and being the slightly feisty daughter I am I let him know why I have the sound on to hear it, that I won't be on there that much longer, and unlike his other daughter I pay for the privilege to live there (yeah, I can get grumpy too). My mother stands up for me at this stage, and reminds him that I can't afford to sort out any sort of option to fix the situation until my return from Christchurch... which I have to admit jogged my memory. When I first set up my computer here, I thought that once I sorted out my Vodem cancellation (which would be another post in and of itself) I would purchase a wireless router - Ex-S bought one when we were living together, but took it when he left. It was so handy and meant I could use the net anywhere in the house. Attaching it to my parents modem would give me the ability to use my computer at my desk in my room, in the lounge, in bed, in the bathroom LOL... Seeing I'm not on my computer at home as much when my father is doing all his Facebook Triumph stuff (my mum does too, but in her office in the spare room... it's a worry, I tell ya) I hadn't made it as much of a priority, but I think it maybe needs to slot in between tyres (urgent) and hair straightener to keep the peace LOL. Time to investigate pricing!

Rolling jaffas down the aisle...

LoL it's a quintessential kiwi kid thing (although it doesn't do so well in the plush carpeting of our newer cinemas) but I'm much too frugal these days to throw my food away like that. Unusually, I've been to the cinema twice this weekend! I'd promised to take my younger sister to Kung Fu Panda, and thought that I better get it out of the way this weekend (next weekend I'm in Christchurch and then the weekend after that is soooo busy social-wise) and then the parentals decided that this was this was the weekend that they were going to see Prince Caspian, and that i we wanted to tag along they would pay... well, who says no to a free movie they were already planning to see (Ben Barnes... yummmmmmy). While I was out I also picked up some last minute things for Christchurch... woolen tights, hair ties and a cute little travel body wash that smelled like a delicate asian inspired garden! Farmers was having a massive sale so I also ended up buying this three pack of hosiery - sheers, opaques and legging style. Also picked up a sweet summer top (very grecian, which I love) that is a little tooo tight right now but will be perfect for summer - $5 at the Valley Girl Clearance Store Clearance Sale (double clearance, yay for me). All in all a very successful weekend, especially moneywise.

In love...

With my new digital camera! For a start it's not boring silver, it's a lovely turquoise blue (in fact, see here) so no getting it muddled up with everyone else's if it's sitting on a table at a house party. It turns on with just a slide of the lens cover, so quick that there's little danger of missing the perfect shot. It has like a million different settings so that you can get a perfect shot in any condition (seperate settings available for beach, snow, party, sunsets!) but it's really easy to flick between them. It's got an option you can select when you are unsure of the light conditions and it will take two photos with one click of the button - one with flash, one without - so you always get a good looking shot of what you after. My fav feature that the camera has is the "Stamp" feature, where the camera will place a kiss, a hello speech bubble or bunny ears on the subject of the photo. I still need a little bit of work with this feature, I have this hilarious close-up photo of my mother with bunny ears that seem to come out of her eyebrows... she looks like some sort of anime superhero. It was a belated Christmas and Birthday present from my parents (we were waiting for a good deal) and so the fact it cost me nothing makes me feel even better!
Also loving these adorable little penguin lollies that my sister found at a little sweet kiosk in our town. I woke up one morning this week to find these gorgeous little buddies in a dish beside my bed. Very difficult to want to eat them, but once I'd used my new digital camera to immortalise them, they were quickly nom'd away. Will have to return to this little kiosk and see if I can get more - she got a massive paper bag of penguins and icebergs (marshmellow peaks) for $2... not great for the waistline, but with struggling with eating their royal cutenesses it should take me a while :D

Thursday's word of the day

Ubiquitous:
Existing or being everywhere.
On my school visit today (part of my teaching application requirement), the students were like ubiquitous little ants.
It was a bit weird being back at my alma mater (does that count for high schools?) 5 and a half years on... things have definitely changed, security is far tighter for one (security guards and locked, monitored gates during the day!) and the kids seem to be a bit rougher than they used to. It's a school based in a largely low socio-economic area, and always has been, but some of the issues that kids have to face seem pretty extreme.
One thing I really struggled with was the kids calling me "Miss". "Are you our reliever, Miss?" "Do you want to teach ignorant little children like us, Miss? Why? Are you mental?" LOL the second one made me laugh - they wanted to know why I didn't want to have a job that made me lots of money... ahhhh how to explain to a fifteen year old about work life balance! I just went with "I decided that I'd rather do something that I love than something that will make a lot of money, and I like teaching ignorant little children"... it got a laugh. Thank you thank you I'll be here all week - Try the Veal! I'll get used to the "Miss" thing though - I just don't feel old enough to be a floating title, rather than my first name. G, my hosting teacher, said that she felt the same at 47, so it wasn't that odd.
Had the night off work tonight though... knew today would take a lot out of me when I woke up still crook this morning so my darling boss arranged cover. Will go to the doctors for the 2nd time tomorrow if I don't wake up perfect, may take another round of antibiotics to obliterate this bugger of a cold.

"It must have been love, but it's over now"

LOL can you tell I was a child of the eighties? No, nothing going on in the love life department (although I keep on thinking of my more recent exes more often recently - more on that later) but as much as I love my uni course, I can't help but be a little bit glad that I completed my last exam, as shocking as I still felt from my cold. Quarter of a way to my goal of being an English/Drama teacher - well provided that I actually passed. I felt like I was doing the exam drunk - by no means my best effort. I also got two assignments back today with A grades (one +, one -) so that's given me a bit of a shine.
The cold is slowly working its way out of my system - I do feel marginally better today than I have the previous two days. I did my final and I'm at work, so hopefully that isn't tempting fate and I can keep getting better. The weird thing is that the entire time I've been sick I've been thinking constantly about my two most recent exes, especially the one that broke my heart last year (awww). On the font of all knowledge "Oprah" the other day was a gynaecologist talking about how almost all illnesses are manifestations of pent-up emotions... it sort of led me to thinking that maybe this manifestation of illness and thought of Ex-S and Ex-N is not a coincidence; that it's the release of feelings that I've left bottled up inside, and as well as the antibiotics, the act of thought about these men that I've tried to lock inside a box has also lead me to become better... the thoughts haven't been "wanting to get back with them thoughts" more "bastard won't get out of my head" thoughts LOL.
Bit of a ramble I know and maybe I'm just being airy-fairy - blame the Coldrex!

Nup... definitely sick

Looks like staying at home was the right thing to do because I ended up with a raging fever Saturday night (had to come home from shift at second job early) and all of Sunday that has diminished into a running nose and sore throat today. Did the frugal thing today and sucked it up to go and spend the cash at the doctors... better to do that now and be right (thanks to the magic of antibiotics!) for exam and work the rest of the week. But for tonight I'm relaxing with a bowl of chicken soup and my knitting project before a nice early night. Go the being a nana!

Party-Pooper?

I'm on this big kick at the moment to add excitement and interest in my life by taking up all the offered invitations I receive. I picked up my mobile last night at about 8:30 and there was a text from S asking me if I wanted to go out to a bar - after my 29 hour work week and two exams, I was just at the point where I didn't have much more energy left. I texted back my apologies and nestled in to watch the trashy television that is NZ Friday night TV before crashing out asleep. Fast-forward to this morning at about nine and S texting me that she's only just got home. Part of me thinks that my choice was really sensible - I had a really rough week, and I'm working an afternoon shift at my second job today - but a small part of me is really sad that I missed out on the adventure, that I'm only this young and this free once and I should be making the most of it. That there's plenty of time for sensible later
But my bed did look awfully welcoming last night...

Thursday's Word of the Day (on a Friday!)

Penurious:
extremely poor; destitute; indigent.
Use it in a sentence - Before I got this new job that gives me the spare time to catch up on blogging, I was penurious. It can also mean miserly, but I was never that (part of of the reason I was extremely poor).
Not a good start to the word of the week :D I love learning new words, especially ones that seem to roll over your tongue. I wish I had a good excuse for why I didn't blog, but the reality is that after working a ten hour shift at work yesterday (the day before a final, no less), all my brain was good for was watching the premier of army wives. LOVED it - can finally understand why its been getting such rave reviews in the states. It really bites that usually I won't be home early enough to watch 0n a regular basis. I've been thinking about adding a DVD recorder - should be cheaper than MySky by a long shot. Will do a little more investigation before adding it to the list though. Speaking of which, I'm going to add a list of major purchases I'm thinking about making to my blog - I think it will keep me more focused.
Ahhh... two more hours to go, an appointment with the nutritionist at the gym and then sweet sweet home to veg out on the couch and watch trashy TV like ANTM and Project Runway. Feel like I deserve to not have to use my brain for a while :D My next exam isn't until Wednesday and I've already studied for it so I can relax... if anything I need to tighten up on how often I get to the gym.
Oooh and I got a letter in the post yesterday saying I will get a tax refund of about $200 - will go in the reserves for Christchurch and then towards major purchases if it isn't used on great experiences. Yay me!

You know in the movies, when everything goes silent and you can just hear the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears?

I had one of those moments today. Was all psyched up to do my Writing & Culture exam today and caught the express train to the city, making sure that I was there in plenty of time. I arrive at the city campus and go to the exam board to find out what room I am in for the exam - and here's where the world fades out and I can hear my heart beating faster and faster - and I find that I have been studying for the WRONG final. Somehow I managed along the way to transpose this Wednesday's exam subject with next Wednesday's exam topic, so with three finals you can imagine how prepared I was for this exam a week away (uhhhh, not at all). I sat on the floor outside the test room, closed my eyes and brought back all the knowledge I could remember on the texts we'd studied (I have a semi-photographic memory - i.e. it only works when I focus) and just kept running over it in my head for half an hour. I kept doing my breathing exercises as I did this and went into the exam where I answered all three necessary essay questions in the allotted time - now it's just a waiting game to see how well I did, but I feel confident that it was a passable effort (even if it isn't as good as if I had actually had the chance to study. As much as it was a idiotic mistake to make, I'm feeling quite proud of the way I handled it. I didn't let myself panic, I realised that nothing much could be done to fix the situation and I spent the time that I had left before the exam constructively. If I wasn't such a moron, I'd pat myself on the back LOL.

That sinking feeling...

So I'm at work with about half an hour left, and I have this horrid sinking feeling about the exam tomorrow. With being sick, I'm not entirely sure that I've studied enough - but by the same token, it doesn't appear to be an exam that you can study a lot for - from what we have been told, it's close analysis of one passage and then writing an essay length discourse on one of the provided topics. It's not as straight forward as my literature exams, and unfortunately it's my first one. My mind keeps arguing with itself whether I should stay up tonight and go over my notes... but with feeling a little bit "off" still, I'm leaning towards me being better served by having a large cup of chamomile tea and trying to get an early night. Ick, imagine if I failed (the exam is worth about 30% of total marks) - I think I still have the grades to pass overall, but oh the shame and the money of having to do it again! LOL here I go again counting my chickens before they've hatched. Time enough to panic after the exam :P Can you tell I haven't been at uni for a couple of years, totally out of practice with the whole finals stress?

Is it the beginning or the end?

I may be sick... this would not usually be a huge problem, but I have two finals exams this week and I want to do well in them. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a bit tired but otherwise fine - it was 11am and far later than I usually wake up (I missed going to the church service - oops) but I just figured that I'd been tired and it was my body catching up with itself. Went to a baby-shower with the girls and while I was there I started feeling a little more "off" - sort of slipping away with the fairies. By the time that I was driving us all home I could feel a headache coming on, and when I got home I felt really awful.
Now this next bit might be TMI, so if you don't want to know, avoid the piece in italics.
I go to bed and pretty much crash out straight away. I wake up in the middle of the night needing to go to the bathroom (that in itself is pretty unusual for me) and absolutely drenched in sweat, to the point that my nightgear feels like I've stood in the shower with it on. Once I've been to the bathroom, I head back to my room and strip all my night gear off and collapse back into bed.
I wake up this morning late again (around 10am) and the headache is now down to a dull roar. My fear is that last night is just an omen of things to come, rather than a 24-hour bug. Will keep you posted.

Friday Night...

Have a date tonight - some random guy who I'll call Rainbow - and feeling a bit nervous. It's always a bit nerve-wracking, and even more so when the guy you are meeting is an internet guy... but I haven't had any luck finding a man in my "real world". I met a guy whom we'll call Exhibit last weekend, I'd met him through the same site... only problem being that I felt nothing for him in person. Arrrrrghhhh. Hopefully tonight is a little more promising ;) I'm driving to the bar we're meeting at, so if things go revoltingly I'll have to wait til I get home to drown my sorrows LOL.
In other news, I got a hair cut today - something drastically different (and way shorter) than my previous hairstyle............and absolutely loving it. Makes me look more like I'm in my twenties rather than my teens, and suits my naturally wavy hair way better than the previous style. Think New Gwenyth/Maia from Shortland St.
UPDATE: Home... Not any great amount of chemistry, felt like a really good friend rather than anything else. Got a text from him just now basically amounting to the feeling being mutual. Ah well, third time's the charm.

Thursday night : Word I'm loving!

Have decided that every Thursday night I will share a word I'm "crushing on":
This week's word comes to you courtesy of one of my favourite blogs iCiNG - thanks Gala! This stunning website has introduced me to the use of the word nonpareil in reference to a person or thing rather than those round pellets of sugar your mum used to decorate your birthday cakes with :) .
Nonpareil means having no equal, being peerless. Early high school was a bit of a torment for me because I wasn't willing to just go along with the crowd, but in hindsight I wouldn't have changed a single thing. I'm glad that I've spent my life okay with my own exquisite uniqueness. It's hopefully something I can impart when I'm teaching: I wish someone had told me at the time that it was okay to be a nonpareil, that I will be eternally grateful for the lifestyle and opportunities that have come to me for being brave enough to make my own choices.

Lunch Time Love

Just popped home in between training I had this morning and work that I have in a couple of hours - with the price of petrol at the moment, I was tempted to stay out, but then realised I'd probably spend just as much money on lunch and keeping myself occupied as I spent on petrol to get home. So here I am, heels shucked off but still in the rest of my corporate gear, about to get in a hour or so of mindless day-time television watching and eat my body weight in mandarins LOL Nice to be able to slot in some "thoughtless time".
Also, isn't it great when work schedules in mandatory training for everyone that's almost completely useless if you are a Gen Y-er and brought up around computers since they were Commodore 64s :D Ah well, I get paid extra, and that means more fun money for Christchurch!

Where has my planning mojo gone?

I've always prided myself on being a pretty organised person, but the little anal-retentive in me seems to have taken a holiday over the last couple of weeks... I'm not sure whether it's the end of uni semester or the fact that this new part-time job is taking up a significant amount of time that I used to have free . What I do know is that I'm stuck at work for at least another 3/4s of an hour, and didn't bring any study materials or even a book to read "recreationally" (yeah, I know that sounds odd, but when you are studying English Lit, you sorta have to make a classification LOL). On top of that, when I leave here I'll have to stop somewhere (at 10pm at night) to pick up something that vaguely resembles dinner. I keep on telling myself that I need to make some meals that I can freeze and then reheat, and I've even gone so far as to get most of the ingredients for the meatloaf but then I look at trying to fit cooking into my schedule at the moment and it just makes me want to cry. I don't want to guilt my mum into doing it, she already does so much for me on top of charging me less than market board. Maybe I just need to breathe, accept that for the next three weeks I'm not going to be on top of my game, use iGoogle (LOVE YOU iGOOGLE!) to keep track of the things I need to do as much as possible and start afresh (and refreshed) once I come back from ChCh.
Ahhhh Christchurch holiday... now that's something I can daydream about for the next 45 mins :)

This is why I take my diary everywhere...

... and why I sometimes wish I had a smartphone or Blackberry or whatever. I'm meant to be going into work for some extra training this week (school holiday programme's coming up, and it's a completely different way of booking classes than usual) and after discussion with the day-time receptionist I'm pretty sure we decided I was going to come in early tomorrow. Only problem being that for some unusual reason, I didn't have my "paper" diary with me to record it down, and when I tried to log it onto my Google Calendar at work last night, the web-page froze (seems to be a bias that the network we run off has against Google - Reader is prone to do the same thing). I wake up this morning and I can't remember whether I'm meant to be starting at 3 today or tomorrow, and all my efforts to get hold of J (day-time reception) via phone and email have so far been fruitless. I want to go to the gym on the way to work, and I don't want to waste my time (soooo much study to do) by going in early today if it is tomorrow. Grrr I hate it when this sort of thing happens... makes me look so unprofessional.
UPDATE: Finally got hold of J and she said that she couldn't remember either (LOL) and just to come in whatever day suited - so tomorrow it is :) I'll be up that way already with some errands I need to run, so it makes more sense.

Hello Universe!

It's almost midnight and I've recently arrived home from work - to supplement my student loan "living costs" I also work as an evening receptionist at an arts centre. I had an interesting conversation with my mother... was saying that I was feeling stressed about money, especially with my upcoming holiday to Christchurch and she was telling me that it was a bit irrational. I made the decision to go to Christchurch on holiday before I even got this well-paying new job, I deserve to go on this holiday and I can afford it. Some of the larger "experiences" like the mini-break that we will be taking in Hamner Springs will probably have to be placed on the CC but I know that I'll be able to pay them off within the month. I got the flights extremely cheap and the rest of the accomodation will be free thanks to my darling cousin B. I still can't shake this nagging feeling though - I guess it's just because I've been focusing on paying down my debt for about a year now, and I'm just not used to spending ANY money on myself. As much as I want to be completely debt-free (apart from my student loans - I'm realistic here people), the fact that I am $2500 less in debt than when I started paying down my debt last year, and have continued to pay down that debt even after giving up my full-time job in February has to be celebrated, and I worry that if I didn't do something like take this holiday I would suffer from "debt repayment" burnout.

About Me

I'm a 20-something kiwi girl with a big heart that sometimes explodes with feeling too much. The person who bares the brunt of most of these explosions is my darling Stunning Buns (or SB for short) and I love him for it!
I'm the quintessential bookworm, trying to squeeze an entire library into my small room. One of homeowner dreams is to have a library area of my home. I'm always the one to give a book as a gift!
I'm the hard outer shell with the incredibly gooey centre - tough as guts (what a disgusting expression) but I absolutely melt at romantic gestures, whether they are happening to me or I am hearing about them happening to others.
I'm a bit of a traditional girl, mixed up with some modern playgirl - I want to bake my gorgeous cake and eat it too! Family is everything to me... even though my sister and I don't get along so well, she knows I would take a bullet for her.
I love the weird, the slightly kooky, the fascinating... it is sometimes in these things that we see the greatest beauty.
I believe that the messes in my past have helped shape who I am today; I wouldn't change any of it even if I could. I believe in God because the world can't be this amazing just by accident. However this doesn't stop me bitching Him out on a beach at 2am in the morning because I've had too much to drink and life seems so unfair.
I'd rather care too much than care too little... you don't get the deep lows if you don't jump in with all your heart but you fail to experience the amazing highs as well! I'm a lover and a fighter, a whore and a madonna, the nerdy social butterfly... and I wonder why sometimes I feel so confused?

Ths blog is partially an exploration of who I am and what I want out of life - following me as I take a big bite out of everything that life has to offer. It also reflects the book lover within me. I'm open to new opportunities so if you think that there is something I can assist you with, don't hesitate to click on my "Contact Me" tab and let me know! Enjoy!