The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant, systematic duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune. Our nervous system isn't just a fiction, it's part of our physical body, and our soul exists in space and is inside us, like teeth in our mouth. It can't be forever violated with impunity.
-Boris Pasternak, Doctor ZhivagoIronic, huh, that I find this quote almost immediately after writing that article on my own fears. In all that is going on with Mum, we have to remember that honesty in our feelings and bottling up really doesn't do OUR health any good. It's when my head is about to explode that I eat that whole packet of chips. I curl up in my room instead of going for walks. It's letting one form of duplicity (where I'm saying I'm fine and feeling the absolute opposite, pretending I'm okay with something when I'm really not) ruin all the good parts of my life.
Join with me in banning the twee "I'm fine, and you?" response to your friends - if you're upset, angry, bored, tired, etc, let me know in the comments. I'm a friend you can be honest with. Let out anything that is tying your nervous system up in knots.
I'm anxious. I think I just told someone something I shouldn't have. And another person's feelings might be hurt if it got back to them. It wasn't something that was mine to tell, but I just didn't think about it. And it's a sucky feeling.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the outlet...
this post is perfect for how I've been feeling. I'm so sick of pretending that I'm fine when I'm not just so other ppl don't feel uncomfortable, as opposed to them actually telling me how they really feel and pushing their negativity my way. death to the statement 'I'm fine, and you?'!!!
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