So excited!

The darling Em of Lick My Cupcakes is coming to New Zealand this week and we get to have dinner with her (and her lovely man) on Friday! She was one of my first lady-blogger friends and it will be great to finally have a big smooshy cuddle with her in person!

Who wouldn't wanna hang with these cool kids?

December Rush!

I don't know about everyone else, but my run up to Christmas has just been insane. Yesterday was the first day that I had nothing on since the start of the month (and that was only because the Women in Business event I was going to was cancelled) and I was so exhausted I slept in until 2 pm! I can't remember doing that since I was in my teens!

So what's been going on for us in December?

• Helping Mama Scribs tidy and organise her house in preparation for my "exchange sisters" arrival (lucky her, she gets my Bee Of Service skills for free)
• Getting a few loose ends tied up for Bee of Service, now in hiatus til after Christmas
• Hanging out with my bestie, having pedicures and going for beach walks before baby arrived
• Throwing our annual Christmas BBQ
• Bachelorette Day Out with gorgeous friend J, doing a scavenger hunt in Auckland City then celebrating throughout the afternoon in a vineyard on Waiheke Island
• Attending a Year 8 mixer of all the contributing schools to my new high school - they had all been learning to ballroom dance and it was so adorable!
• Spending a day learning about the new school's peer support programme and finding out about some of the more interesting characters in my new form class
• Finding out my bestie had given birth to her new little boy and literally squealing - for those of you who know me IRL, you know I'm not a squealer (btw, my cluckiness has hit new heights!)
• Trying out a new hair salon and loving it - have found a new hair home!
• Spending time with my adorable friend Ange - she's a make-up artist so we caught up with all the goss while she did my makeup for...
• Watching J & V get married and have the cutest little reception up in the Waitakere Ranges - the view was amazing, we even got to see the Christmas in the Park fireworks (although they looked tiny from so far away
• Fulfilling our church service obligations - we're on the greeting roster which is fun, we just get to say hi to everyone and hand out programmes as they enter.
• BBQ for Papa Scribs' birthday - just great to spend that time with the family
• Going to the hospital twice to visit the new baby - so adorable and squidgy. Very cool to be back in the place of my birth too!
• Spending two days on a professional development course on how to raise Maori achievement in high schools - to be perfectly honest, I had thought that, given my background, it wouldn't be of that much use to me but it's really opened my eyes to some of those conversations I have with students in my classroom.
• Attending the Foo Fighters concert - it pissed down with rain and I am so grateful to my bonus brother (future bro-in-law) for packing some plastic sheets. I ripped a head hole in one and managed to stay vaguely dry LOL. The concert was well worth it though!

No wonder I needed a solid sleep! The 2 pm things sounds really bad but in my defence, I didn't get to bed until 2 a.m. after the Foos - had to drop Bonus Brother home and then have a shower to warm up before bed!

There's still plenty to look forward to in the December Rush too:

Dinner with old uni mates - SB's work do at the races - Cupcakes and Cocktails party for my dear friend Missy - more cuddles with babies - my exchange sisters arriving in NZ - midnight mass on Christmas eve (tradition for SB and I) - Christmas Day - the Boxing Day Blowout party that's tradition in my fam - Mama Scrib's Birthday & New Year's Eve (haven't the foggiest what we are doing to celebrate that yet!)

The Housewifely Routine

My contract wrapped up on Monday so for now I am officially unemployed. Don't feel sad though - very exciting things are happening on the job front for both of us - just a matter of signing paperwork now! It still means, however, that I have around nine weeks of "down time" ahead and the changes in SB's job mean it is unlikely he is going to be able to take much time off at all! Our beach holiday plans have gone down the can.

So what's a girl to do when she's on her own for a few weeks? If she's a nerdy super-planner like me, she makes a routine!

I'm wanting to embrace all the opportunities available to me - I doubt that there will be any time in the future where I will be as free to chase those opportunities as I am now (with my stupendously wonderful fiance's support). I'm also wanting to remain flexible - Bestie is on maternity leave in two weeks and I want to be as available as I can be to her and to my mum as she starts her new chemo.  Thus - the guidelines!

The weekends take care of themselves! We don't have a single weekend day free between now and Christmas and I'm so looking forward to the fun those events will entail! It's the weekdays that have the potential to drive me mental! I do deserve some time to relax - especially after the insanity of the last ten or so weeks - but I don't want to settle into the complacency of slothfulness! Likewise, I want to get some big days out in but I do need to be aware of budget - we are a one-income household as my holiday pay has already been earmarked for different things. So....

Each week will have 1-2 Weekday As, 2-3 Weekday Bs and 1 Big Day Out - in theory. Let me show you how this works for next week:

Monday - Weekday B (meeting up with @marytairua in the afternoon!)

Tuesday  - Varied Weekday B (helping Mum out with getting their house in order for C to come and stay)

Wednesday - Weekday C (heading into the city, meeting up with several different friends, big walks once in town)

Thursday - Weekday A

Friday - Work (another weekday type that will occasionally be slotted in, not frequently enough to be on the list)

Some people can be laissez-faire and blow wherever the wind blows... I just can't. I think that the routine will really help me gain everything I need out of this sabbatical from the "busy life".

So do you think I'm a giant nerd? Do you plan out your holiday time this way? How do you ensure that you have balance?

Loves and Loathes of September

Loves:

• Our engagement party is this weekend! Our lounge and dining area currently looks a little unkempt (and is likely to start looking more so) as I finish off the DIY part of our decorations. I'm glad I decided to outsource a couple of things - the reality is that it is sometimes better to pay someone else for their time than to try and do it yourself. Even with working two thirteen-hour days this week (less than will be usual) I've still managed to get in bed at a decent hour and avoid tears - yes, I am about nine years old inside!
• The beautiful sunny days we've had recently - hard to love this when the wind is literally blowing a gale but the fact that we've had a few lovely warm days must mean that proper spring is on it's way, right?
• That Liv Bambola has confirmed that she is coming to the wedding! This is something that friends of mine who aren't as web-connected really don't understand... Liv knows me better than a lot of the people I am friendly with in real life. She's been in my life for my change of careers, when I met the man of my dreams and when I realised that he was the man of my dreams. Along with others (you guys should know who you are!), you've experienced both the light and the dark sides of my life - not just my "public face". Through DM conversations on Twitter and Facebook love, you've become not just web friends but real friends. So as hard as it is to understand, there are some of my ladies whom, although we live oceans apart, I would love to be there for my special day. That's why I'm so excited that she has confirmed that she can come!
• Seeing a metal rooster in a garden store and thinking "Knock knock, motherf**ker" - hand up if you know what I'm talking about :)

Loathes:

• Finding out that yet another person dear to me is dealing with cancer... honestly, f**k cancer. I don't swear often on the net, but it totally applies. Stop ruining people's lives!
• Spring Mating Season as a teacher - proven fact, as the weather gets warmer, the student population suddenly gets a lot more coupley and the PDA gets a lot more full on. I wish I was joking... I'm really not. I'm considering getting a spray bottle - hey, if it works for domestic animals, should work on people, right?
• The plateau... I'm plateaued at around seventeen kilos down. I really need to lose another ten at least before would be happy but this is so frustrating. I'm getting to the point where I'm sabotaging myself to stay here - "If I'm not going to lose anything or gain anything then I may as well eat what I want". Yes, I'm aware that sentence makes absolutely no sense... it really makes me question what in me makes me think that way.
• Money - it's not that I loathe money itself (it definitely has good uses) nor am I loathing the lack thereof (I'm actually not too badly off at the moment). I guess I'm loathing having to think about it... loathing adjusting wedding budgets, loathing the thought of extra money and the sensible things I should do with it instead of blow it on fun stuff. Ha ha, maybe I'm just loathing being a grown-up :)

What are you loving and loathing this month, Scribblettes?

Quiet times...

It's been a rough week - there's no denying it. Both SB and I caught a virus that was going around - knocked me out for three days and had to stay off work to avoid spreading the germs. On Tuesday, the second day off, I hopped on Facebook to be stunned by the news that an old school friend had passed away very unexpectedly. Wednesday I started to feel better, only for SB to start to feel worse. Thursday night we had a phone call to say that SB's dog had taken a turn for the worse and that we should pop round the following morning if we wanted to say goodbye. We did, and without going into the finer details, it was clear that putting down the dog down was the best thing to do. This morning, I attended the funeral of my school friend. It was heart-breaking to see his girlfriend stand by the coffin, unmoving, their life together cut so short.

So SB and I are sitting on the couch, watching music DVDs and having a whiskey and dry for the ones we've lost this week... it's a quiet time and that's a good thing,

Stop focusing on the negative!

I had a moment a couple of days ago... feeling fat and bloated, I jumped on the scales after dinner and saw the damage, about a kilogram up from my lowest weight. My immediate thought was "What a fattie!" - seriously? Even at that weight, I was still almost seventeen kilograms less than my largest weight! I had to laugh... getting uptight about a little bloating (which has obvious origins) and losing sight of the big picture. I made sure I drank some more water and headed to bed shaking my head.

In discussion with a certain lady blogger, I got to thinking. Surely what matters most is trying to be true to our intentions. My intention to get down to goal weight is supported by my actions - most of the time. When it's not, I just need to make some action plans to get it on track. I use the word intention as opposed to goal for a reason. Goal seems concrete, unmoving, almost bloody-minded in the pursuit of what you want. Intention seems to imply that you are going to work your hardest to do the best you can while living a life that is still enjoyable. Semantics? Maybe. It sits a heck of a lot better with me.

My days are full at the moment. I write this while supervising a whole class of students, working to create autobiographical sketches of their own lives. Reflection and examination, searching for clues of how we can move forward from our pasts to better futures. For me, making action plans, to-do lists and fueling my body in the best way I can to move forward and live my life with the intentions and design that work best for me and my family.

What do you think? Goals or intentions?

Quiet around here...

I haven't really posted because I didn't know what to say... those of you who have been reading for a long time will know that Mama Scribbles has battled cancer twice. Since the end of last year there has been some to-ing and fro-ing over possible metastatic growths showing up on scans and unfortunately this was recently confirmed. I've tried to think of the best way to explain it on my blog but really she explained it best in the email she sent out to family and friends.

Some excerpts below:

We have a plan, I am starting an oral chemo (chemo in tablet form) called capecitibine – brandname Xeloda. I will keep having this as long as it is having an effect - until treatment effectiveness plateaus (there is no further shrinkage of tumour or drop in tumour markers in my blood tests). I will then have a 6 month break, if it remains stable for those 6 months there is a possibility of trying more rounds of Xeloda to maintain.

If while on the chemo or within the 6 month break when treatment effectiveness has plateaued more metastasis appear or this one continues to grow, we will be looking at switching to a different chemo. Given the pattern/timeframe of the cancer’s recurrence so far, the doctor is hopeful for any single treatment protocol to be effective for at least 18 months. The lesion/tumour on my liver has grown markedly since it first became apparent on the December scan and as of my scan (in) March is approx. 4.2 cm x 3.5cm in size and is located in the area of my liver that is roughly adjacent to my right shoulder blade – just under my diaphragm.

All of this is not great news as we move to more of a control mode rather than looking at me being completely cured. Prognosis now is very dependent now on how effective each chemo protocol is at controlling progression. For the meantime, we have decided life will on as normally as possible, but there are issues we do need to think about now such as quality of life, priorities if and when treatment doesn’t work etc.

So what does this mean for Mama Scribbles? As she said, control, not cure. I was surprised how hard that hit me. We've always known that it was a possibility and moving to it being an actuality affected me more than it would. Hearing mum talking about what she would tell LilSis when medication was no longer an option, it struck me - there will come a point when medicines and treatment DON'T work anymore. Her prognosis is quite open-ended and a lot will depend on how well and for how long these treatments work but at this stage I'd feel blessed if she was around long enough to see me married and my children being born.

I probably sound like I'm keeping it together a lot more than I am (I'm sorry Mum, I'm not quite as strong as I appear). I can't deny that I've cried (a lot) and stuck the middle finger up at God going "Really? Seriously? Want to shove my face in the muck a little bit more?". I think my body went into tension overload on Friday which caused me to throw up and then spend the best part of two days in bed. SB has been an absolute star through all of it though and I'm so glad I have him in my life. Today is a new day however and it's time to suck it up and move on. Live and love life, for as long as we all have it.

What can you change?

If you follow me on Twitter you will have seen that yesterday I was in a pretty emo mood. I don't want to go into a lot of detail on here but I felt like some people who should know better are treating me in a pretty shitty manner. I guess the operative phrase here is "should know better" - I expect a certain amount of crap from my students because they are snotty teenagers. When it comes to adults, I expect better.

Why do I expect better? I was brought up in a household that encouraged me to do what ever I did to the best of my ability. I work hard to be a good daughter (stop laughing Mum, you know I try), a good girlfriend, a good teacher and a good friend. In the last two fields I'm feeling some push back from a selected few people... that the way they are treating me shows they feel that I am not a good teacher or a good friend.

While wallowing in my misery last night (as SB did my chores, bless him) I asked myself "Why am I so hurt by this?". If I got down to the basics it was because I felt like I busted my ass for these colleagues and these friends and I felt like there was no appreciation, nay, no recognition of me going above and beyond the "call of duty". It's almost like that relationship saying "Don't make someone your priority if you are only their option".

This morning I dealt with the second hard question "What can YOU change?". I can't change my colleague's perception of me. I can't change the friends who seem to be doing a piss poor job of actually being my friend. I can change:

1. my perception of my current situation - I am spending TOO much time thinking about those people who are impacting me negatively
2. my response to those negative people - instead of swallowing my colleague's comments, I can actually stand up to them. Just because you have been teaching for 15 years doesn't make you a better teacher
3. my martyr attitude - I know that these friends are not going to be the ones to support me when I need it... why do I keep putting myself on the line for them? Stop it, Scribs! Stop being such a damn doormat.

I already feel like such a weight has been lifted off my chest... don't focus on the things you can't change, Scribblettes. Instead, think "What can you change?"

Celebrate good times - come on!

It's been a busy time in the Scribbles/SB household - February through the beginning of March is traditionally (LOL I can say that now we've been together as long as we have) a hectic time for us as we have family birthdays, Valentine's Day, both our birthdays, our dating anniversary and my parents' wedding anniversary. This year also saw a hen night/bachelorette event, a wedding and an engagement party thrown in the mix, with both the wedding and the engagement party happening this past weekend!

I woke up Friday morning and was round to the parentals by 9 am to borrow Middle Sis' hot rollers. I got Mama Scribs to paint my nails to make the best use of the down time. It was off home to finish the transformation - make up and one of two dresses I bought with the bride the previous weekend. An hours drive to the venue, a beautiful wedding then off to SB's aunt to drop off our luggage - she kindly offered to put us up for the night. A cooling glass of juice then off to meet up with my family for dinner. Back to the hotel that a lot of the family stayed at for a celebratory glass of Baileys - something my family does in remembrance of my grandmother. Back to SB's aunt to crash on our floor bed.

We woke up on Saturday morning and put the room back to rights and had breakfast. I worked out on the exercycle (6 kms) and then got presentable for a post-wedding brunch. Had brunch/lunch. Washed all the dishes for said brunch - I never do dishes and this was a SERIOUS amount of dishes - think plates, cutlery and platters for 20 odd people. Drove an hour back home, stopping part way at the grocery store. Got home, sat down for half an hour, got up and cooked dinner. Ate dinner, glammed up and went out to engagement party. Stayed at engagement party til it ended, went out to a local bar for a couple of hours. Came home and lay in bed talking to SB... don't actually remember stopping talking but woke up late this morning!

This weekend has just been INSANE. You know what though? I loved it. We had the best time celebrating two couples' love for each other and touching base with family and friends. Do I feel like I could do with another day on my weekend? Sure! But I'll go to work tomorrow tired and content :D

First Monthly Wine Club!

Goal #3 of my 2011 goals was to establish a monthly event at which I could hang out with my girls - increase that female bonding time now that we are mostly coupled up and create some really fun memories. I think it's very easy to fall into that relationship trap: you save all the "fun" stuff to do with your partner-in-crime. While it's important to share great times with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/long-term-life-partner, it's also important to cultivate those relationships amongst women that can guide us into our future lives.

So last Friday we had our first monthly Wine Club! For those of you wanting to try something similar amongst your own group of friends, here's how we did it.

1. Select a venue - I was happy to host as it was my idea. At the club others volunteered to host a club night at their house so we will be rotating duties (at least amongst those who want to - four other girls have popped up their hands)
2. Select a date that will work frequently - we have gone with the first Friday of the month as (on the whole) people are less likely to be booked up with important events on a Friday.
3. Select your guests - I just put out a Facebook invite to gauge interest.
4. Select a wine type - we made it quite easy for our first meeting and the directive was to bring any Australian sparkling wine. Next month, everyone must bring a Pinot Gris.
5. Set a price cap - ours is $25. This makes it an affordable event for everyone.
6. Make some nibblies - if your group is anything like ours, we don't believe in spitting after tasting! You will need some food to soak up the alcohol. I went for quick and easy - dark chocolate covered liquorice, microwave popcorn with a bit of manuka-smoked garlic salt on the top and salmon and cream cheese on bagel toast pieces. Took me about half an hour to prepare
7. Make sure you have tasting cups - plastic sample cups or shot glasses (I got 40 for less than eight dollars at the supermarket and could probably have got them for cheaper if I'd taken the time to look)
8. Taste each wine - the person who purchased that bottle of wine introduces it, says where they purchased it and how much it cost
9. Vote for the best wine and award the trophy - in our case, it is a little stuffed animal that will live with the winner for a month
10. Finish off the bottles! Ha ha ha not a requirement; I did feel like a total lush when it came time to take the bottles out to the recycling bin
11. Sit around and chat about life and love :D Set an official date/location for the next event and bid everyone adieu!

It was SO much fun and I'm really looking forward to our next event in March! Exciting!

What about the money, honey?

I just had a really weird conversation with one of my friends.

This Christmas it has become more clear to SB and I that with our combined life, having a combined bank account would be really handy. My work is more flexible and I'm often able to run more errands - a large amount of the Christmas presents we've bought have been discussed by us and then bought by me. Not to mention the pain-in-the-rear it is with his weekly budgeting and my fortnightly pay and the inevitable 2nd Tuesday night discussion of how much I need to transfer to his account to cover bills. It might work for others but for us, we've decided that when we decide to combine our lives officially, we may as well combine finances.

SB is in a considerably better financial position than I am (I know, on the web it often seems like things are the other way around) - he left school and went straight into employment, he lived rent-free (only paying expenses) until we moved in together. He has no debt from car purchases or student loans. I on the other hand... was pretty much in the financial pooh when we got together. All up, five and a half years of study had drained the well dry. My credit card was maxed out and my car (which cost me at least the purchase price in repairs in the four years after I got it) had ensured that I had stayed in overdraft pretty much as far as they will allow a student to go. A year later, the credit card is paid off and I'm attacking the overdraft... slowly.

Which leads me to the conversation I had today. Facebook chatting with a friend, she told me she was getting Subway today. I returned with I was eating what we had at home because we're trying to save money. She asked why and I returned with the fact that we are planning on merging our accounts but that I want to pay off my overdraft first. I did not expect the reaction I received. I got told that it was too soon (even though we will have been together over two years when we finally do merge the accounts), that it hadn't worked for her other friends (we don't even know their situation) and what if we broke up (uh, not planning on it)?

I was a bit stunned at the reaction - this isn't something that we've taken lightly. It's not even something that we're doing right now and we're still working on the fine tuning of when it will actually happen. I don't expect his investments to be counted in the pool of "our money" until we're married. As we get closer to the actual merge I have no doubt that there will be many more conversations about what will come from the "ours" account and what will come from the "his and hers" accounts.

I understand she's concerned... I understand for every positive experience that people have had, there's probably someone who has had a negative experience too. What is getting my goat the most is that she didn't even give me the chance to explain all of this.

Scribblettes, what's your experiences with money mergers? Have you had strong reactions from people too?

I'd rather eat like a horse than drink like a fish...

Tis the season to be busy!

In just over an hour I'm going to be heading out to my fourth event of the weekend - seems crazy but that's the run up to Christmas! I had a BBQ with my work girls on Friday night, dinner with my cousin and her partner last night followed by drinks and dancing with my "usual suspects" and today we are heading to the joint birthday party of SB's dad and cousin. Over the next few weeks we also have my school's Christmas function, my department's End-Of-Year function, a catch-up BBQ with my mates from my business degree (class of 2006, woop) and SB's work function. There's also talk of attending a foam party at our local bar and I'm sure a few more catch ups with various groups of friends before Christmas!

What does this mean for my new conscious consuming? It means taking into account the opportunity cost of what I eat and drink. Last night I could have had the option to eat a salad for dinner and then drink the sum total of my remaining points... or I could take advantage of the fact that we were at a restaurant that makes delicious food and decide to stay sober. Can you guess which one I chose?

Consuming two sugarfree energy drinks before heading out dancing gave me the boot up the bum I needed and I'm able to enjoy a day today in which I don't feel seedy at all... kind of important when hanging out with SB's extended family LOL. I love my food too much to trade it in for a few midori and lemonades and right now I can't do both. It's really strange to have this new consciousness about what I'm putting into my body... but it's kind of awesome :)

Would you rather eat like a horse or drink like a fish?

I like the way you mo-ove!

Things are all in a flurry at the Scribbles Homestead. The time has simply flown since we made our decision to move and we're currently in the last phases of packing before the big shift happens on Friday. I'm lucky that work has been incredibly lenient and giving me a short day on Thursday and Friday off completely - being a teacher usually means that annual leave is taken when students are on holiday.

It's awkward to live in a half-packed state - we have to leave some of the packing until the last minute because we are still using the items. I have big respect for bloggers like Andrea and Jen who have managed international moves... we're busy just trying to move down the street. It has been good to revisit our new place and plan where everything will go. We realised that the wardrobes actually have some amazing shelving units on and can really see how suitable the place will be for us in summer - we love to entertain!

This past weekend hasn't been without drama. My sister lives at the Burnham Military Camp outside of Christchurch and had just got home from Friday night clubbing when the earthquake hit. She is fine and their house has maintained structural integrity but they were without power until Sunday night. Combine that with some well-meaning but annoying interference from the FMIL... can't wait until Sunday morning when we're relaxing in our new place!

International Blogger Meet-Up!

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting up with the lovely Corrine of Frock & Roll. This sweet Sydney girl is just as sweet in real life as she appears on her blog and definitely living in the wrong country, as I feel we should hang out far more often (and I'm not moving to the land of snakes and spiders!!).

Chatting over chai lattes and cans of V, conversation was just as free flowing as if we'd known each other for ages - talking about love and life and other bloggers! I think I may just have tempted her into coming over and doing a Christchurch sojourn with me - Andrea, Bridey, Charlie & co, be prepared! Then we did what any two girlie bloggers would do together in a mall on a Thursday morning - window shopping!

Had an absolute riot of a time and cannot wait for Corrine to journey to our "land of the long white cloud" again - thank goodness she has family over here and so kinda has to!

Have any of you met up with blog friends? Was it awesome? Was it awful? Let me know in the comments!

Different Life Paths...

Ten years ago, our lives would have seemed very similar. Some of us had long-term boyfriends, others played the field and a few of us weren't ready to date yet. We came from different backgrounds, different ethnicities yet spent 6 or so hours at school each day, talked together in classes and all experienced our various forms of teenage angst. While we were all different and unique, so much of our circumstance was identical. We were on the same life path.

Walking through the grocery store with SB, doing our weekly shop, we're in the chilled aisle tossing up what toppings to put on our home-made pizzas. I hear a familiar voice and turn to see a former high-school friend hurtling down the other side of the freezers after two little boys. Through the powers of Facebook, I know that they are her little boys. Somewhere along the track, our paths diverged and she's now the solo mother of two little boys. She looked so frazzled and I like to think that's the reason I didn't approach her. The reality is that confronted with the evidence of how our lives are so different, I honestly don't know what I'd say.

I think it's easier to handle when you stay in touch with people as they transition through life's changes. My dear friend J gets married this weekend and I can safely say I don't think it will change our friendship at all. When close friends have children it definitely changes the dynamic of the friendship, but you handle the change and the friendship continues. It seems that the challenge comes when you re-unite with people you once had so much in common with, only to find that their life is so much different to yours. Many of the girls I played tennis with in high school are now married mothers. That's not something I can identify yet. It seems that our friendship exists on a merely superficial level because we can't vocalise how our life paths have affected and changed the people that we used to know.

It struck me at J's wedding rehearsal yesterday that this is the time where differences are incredibly profound. The wedding party (all mid 20s) comprises of a solo mother, a woman in a long-term relationship (me), a married man and a soon-to-be divorced man. These are the times when everything changes, when we make choices that affect the rest of our lives - to be together or to go it alone, to create new life or just to enjoy each other. There's no right path for everyone and we try and keep the honesty in our friendships with those we are close to.

Any tips for how to restart friendships with old friends when what you have in common is the past?

Family Fun Times

ChChSis was up this weekend for her birthday and last night we all gathered together to celebrate her reaching the ripe old age of 22. As SB and I sat in my parents' lounge, watching my mother, father, sisters and relatives gently poke fun at each other, I realised something.

I do not often think about how blessed I am.

Both SB and I come from backgrounds where family is incredibly important. When we talk about the future, we assume that our life together will have the same focus. Sure, we have occasions where we will blow our stack at our parents and we certainly don't agree with everything our relatives say but we wouldn't trade those immediate and extended family links for anything. We're grounded with our roots in our family plots, even if we grow ourselves elsewhere. We know where we come from, and that's a huge thing.

Taking control...

Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that Mama Scribbles has had a small recurrence of her cancer in one of her lymph nodes below her rib cage. It could definitely be worse - it hasn't spread from the original location. In reality, it's more of a pain in the ass then something to fall apart over and our family is continuing along focusing on the positive. Radiation (for Mama Scribs anyway) is far easier than chemo to deal with (think morning sickness and food poisoning's bastard child vs. a bad sunburn) so we just need to chin up and support mum tackling the bastard little Gerties.

I think one of the worst things about having an ill loved one is the complete lack of anything you can do about it. You can be there for them, take them to appointments, chat with them but in the end you are just on the sideline watching them fight their own personal battle. For a control freak like myself, it's tough to have a challenge like this.

So I'm throwing myself into things that I can control and affect - my job search, my group assignments and a friend's pre-wedding parties. It has a hint of the former event manager life I used to lead and part of me wonders whether it would be worth it to head back down that path but I think that teaching is definitely the right path for me right now. Who knows... maybe "Day Of" co-ordinating is a business I can set up when I'm being a SAHM a few years from now. Choices, choices....

Well we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto...

Today I survived a tornado.

I wish I was joking.

SB lives in rural South Auckland, in a farmhouse on his parents' horticultural property. Today, being the first day of school holidays, SB left me sleeping as he went off to work. I got up and was just finishing my leisurely breakfast when the rain started bucketing down. I looked out the lounge room window and could see the palm tree in the pool yard flapping like it wanted to take flight.

Crikey.

That's glass on the lawn there... I heard a thump on the side of the house. What the hell? Is it hailing? I looked towards the kitchen window and realised what was probably happening. I screamed and ducked for cover. Panes of glass were flying off the glass house straight at the kitchen window. Huddled into the computer desk, I hear an almighty crash.

And there went the kitchen window... thank goodness for security grilles and net curtains. We curse them all the time but they are what stopped the glass from flinging into the kitchen and across the lounge. It's all open plan.

Then as quickly as it had started, the wind died away. Poor SB's parents have completely lost their crop of tomatoes and have extensive losses and repairs to claim on insurance, including but not limited to a buckled conservatory, windows, glass house panes, gates blown off hinges, fence panels blown off and a massive clean up of glass from the property.

We weren't hit the worst... but for sleepy old rural NZ, it was pretty damn scary. I don't think my blood pressure went back to normal for several hours. So much for a relaxing start to the holidays!

Money Money Money...

... must be funny, in a rich man's world.

I am a compulsive planner, as some of you may know (it's not exactly a secret :D) and I struggle when I come up against a wall where I can plan no further. Having looked up the ERO reports for all the high schools in the error, selected which schools I am keen to work with and having prepared CVs and subscriptions to job sites... it's now just a waiting game until those jobs become advertised. I can't stress about my registration yet - we can't apply for it until November - so my mind has turned even further ahead.

My student allowance runs out at the middle of November, leaving me to subsist purely on my work wages (which, btw, is not a lot). My work contract expires just prior to Christmas. I'm not likely to get paid from whatever teaching job I find until the second week of February. I had a mild-to-moderate panic about this last night... at least a month (and probably closer to two) with no income at all.

SB is being lovely and volunteering to help me with my bills. My parents will help out too. But part of me feels pathetic that at 24, I can't do this alone. Saving to cover the period I have off is a nice idea in theory, but I don't have enough left over at the end of the week at the moment to make a significant difference. I'd like to find a secondary job, but I need to know my end dates (i.e. when I start teaching) before I accept any work.

What it boils down to is that I need to find a teaching job for next year and then work backwards, hopefully finding some employment that can work in with that. I need to suck things up and accept the help of my parents, telling myself that this will be the last time I ever need their assistance. I need to appreciate SB's offer and let him help where he can. Most of all, I just need to focus on the here and now... let the other pieces fall into place as it comes.

Still, if anyone knows of any summer jobs...

Building Good Foundations

I'm in the enviable position of finding myself with the best part of a week with no study and very few work commitments... what to do with this time?

• Exercise - the weekend weather has been totally crap and really limits the amount of time you can spend out and about soaking up some Vitamin D while getting fit. Today, stunning blue skies. Walking is always more fun when you have someone to talk with so I'm hauling mum out to pound the pavement with me, trying to build a habit for the semester ahead. I tend to let fitness go down the tubes when assignments are due so it's good to get this sorted now.
• Reading - I have a lot of reading to do for my courses next term and I am lucky enough to be aware of some of it already. This afternoon will find me curled up in my favourite armchair, vanilla chai in hand, reading my way through some of what I consider Shakespeare's more challenging works.
• Research - Along with reading, the courses will require further research into related subject information. With ample time and ability to print resources, why wouldn't I get a head start on this?
• Gift Purchasing - I have several milestone events coming up - big birthdays, engagement parties, baby showers. I really hate battling shopping crowds on the weekend so I will use some of my time this week looking for those perfect gifts to make those people smile.
• Catching up - I'm currently in the process of making arrangements to have lunch with people various days of the week. When combined with the walking, this gives me enough time out of the house to make the time I spend in the house more productive.

I'm hoping that all of these combined will create a good foundation for moving forward next semester. A mighty house is built on strong foundations so let's hope it goes well! How are you laying foundations, Scribblettes?