A week to go 'til Christmas

SB and I have no plans today and it feels marvellous. Knowing us, it's still a time to get things done (and get the house in apple-pie order - nothing sexier than a guy cleaning the oven, even if it is because he spilt pizza all over it last night!) but we can go at our own pace and be relaxed - and that's fantastic! The days ahead are busy with final preparations for Christmas, helping Mama Scribs prepare the house, spending time with my lovely french "sister" C and visiting wee J (clucky much?). And just because I don't like making things easy for myself, I'm changing up my lifestyle.

I've started a new medication for my PCOS and it has had some interesting side effects! PCOS sufferers often suffer from insulin resistance, making it harder for them to lose weight. I've plateaued with my weight loss and so in conjunction with my doctors, I made the decision to start taking a drug (Metformin), commonly used for diabetics. While it's a common prescription for PCOS women (if you are not on the pill, you're likely to be on Metformin and I'm on both), it's considered an off-label use; basically, we know it works but we aren't willing to do the official clinical trials required to put it on the label. Ergo, most of the information about side effects available is for diabetes patients! Luckily, an online PCOS forum made me realise I'm not alone in my side effect...

HOT FLUSHES

Yes, that's right, in adjusting my hormone levels, it's making me heat up like a menopausal woman. Interesting to say the least! I think that's the reason I had to take a nap before going out yesterday afternoon - running hot and cold all day during a humid Auckland afternoon is exhausting! Given that the side effects can be far more debilitating, I'll take that. Especially my PCOS sister seem to think that it is a temporary thing :)

So hopefully this kick-starts my weight loss even over Christmas, with all the delicious food. I can already notice a diminished appetite and zero cravings so that's gotta be a good thing! Will be squeezing myself into wedding dresses come January and it would be great to lose at least four kilos by then!

December Rush!

I don't know about everyone else, but my run up to Christmas has just been insane. Yesterday was the first day that I had nothing on since the start of the month (and that was only because the Women in Business event I was going to was cancelled) and I was so exhausted I slept in until 2 pm! I can't remember doing that since I was in my teens!

So what's been going on for us in December?

• Helping Mama Scribs tidy and organise her house in preparation for my "exchange sisters" arrival (lucky her, she gets my Bee Of Service skills for free)
• Getting a few loose ends tied up for Bee of Service, now in hiatus til after Christmas
• Hanging out with my bestie, having pedicures and going for beach walks before baby arrived
• Throwing our annual Christmas BBQ
• Bachelorette Day Out with gorgeous friend J, doing a scavenger hunt in Auckland City then celebrating throughout the afternoon in a vineyard on Waiheke Island
• Attending a Year 8 mixer of all the contributing schools to my new high school - they had all been learning to ballroom dance and it was so adorable!
• Spending a day learning about the new school's peer support programme and finding out about some of the more interesting characters in my new form class
• Finding out my bestie had given birth to her new little boy and literally squealing - for those of you who know me IRL, you know I'm not a squealer (btw, my cluckiness has hit new heights!)
• Trying out a new hair salon and loving it - have found a new hair home!
• Spending time with my adorable friend Ange - she's a make-up artist so we caught up with all the goss while she did my makeup for...
• Watching J & V get married and have the cutest little reception up in the Waitakere Ranges - the view was amazing, we even got to see the Christmas in the Park fireworks (although they looked tiny from so far away
• Fulfilling our church service obligations - we're on the greeting roster which is fun, we just get to say hi to everyone and hand out programmes as they enter.
• BBQ for Papa Scribs' birthday - just great to spend that time with the family
• Going to the hospital twice to visit the new baby - so adorable and squidgy. Very cool to be back in the place of my birth too!
• Spending two days on a professional development course on how to raise Maori achievement in high schools - to be perfectly honest, I had thought that, given my background, it wouldn't be of that much use to me but it's really opened my eyes to some of those conversations I have with students in my classroom.
• Attending the Foo Fighters concert - it pissed down with rain and I am so grateful to my bonus brother (future bro-in-law) for packing some plastic sheets. I ripped a head hole in one and managed to stay vaguely dry LOL. The concert was well worth it though!

No wonder I needed a solid sleep! The 2 pm things sounds really bad but in my defence, I didn't get to bed until 2 a.m. after the Foos - had to drop Bonus Brother home and then have a shower to warm up before bed!

There's still plenty to look forward to in the December Rush too:

Dinner with old uni mates - SB's work do at the races - Cupcakes and Cocktails party for my dear friend Missy - more cuddles with babies - my exchange sisters arriving in NZ - midnight mass on Christmas eve (tradition for SB and I) - Christmas Day - the Boxing Day Blowout party that's tradition in my fam - Mama Scrib's Birthday & New Year's Eve (haven't the foggiest what we are doing to celebrate that yet!)

Anxiety

They say you can't get away from your problems but I think that I managed to do it, at least for a little while, in Wellington. Maybe the walking all day just left me so physically exhausted that I had no choice but to fall asleep at night... maybe it was the booze LOL. I slept solidly through each night - no longer the case now that we're at home.

At the doctor's yesterday, I had a check-up. I needed a new prescription of my BCP and I asked for some sleeping tablets. It's standard practice at my doctor's clinic to note down what is causing your insomnia (stops abuse and addiction of tablets, I assume) so I actually had to discuss what I'm anxious about. I thought that maybe it was mum's health concerns but what it actually boiled down to was a lack of control  that I have on my future.

It's two and a half weeks until my contract ends and we've made the decision that I won't be working (so that I can spend more time with my family over Christmas - we don't know how many Christmases we have left together) and running the numbers, we definitely can manage for a fair while on SB's income alone. Part of me is very apprehensive about relying on him to "take care" of everything. It's not that I think that he won't but I have been fiercely independent since, well, forever. It's hard for me to be dependent on other people but I'm guessing that's something that I have to learn.

My anxiety also stems from job uncertainty for 2012. I really want the opportunity to have a position with flexible hours and be able to be fulfilled in all areas of my life - that's why I started Bee Of Service. I just didn't expect to be put in the position where that is a serious reality next year. Changes in Ministry of Education funding have seen the bottom fall out of the secondary teaching market and it's entirely possible that I won't have a permanent teaching job next year. Kinda awesome, kinda sucks when we have a wedding to plan and pay for!

I need to get to a place of peace and serenity with my situation, a place where I am lowering these levels of anxiety to a healthy zone.  I need to trust that this situation is this way because it is meant to be, because there are lessons that I am meant to learn from this phase of life. I need to trust that it will work out because it always does. I fear that feeling that way is only going to come with time.

How do you destress and become less anxious, Scribblettes?

Gotta have faith

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have seen my frantic postings on Friday regarding my job. For those of you who may have missed it, I've just had confirmation that my contract teaching position will be finishing a month earlier than expected. Not the worst thing that could have happened but it isn't ideal either when we are saving for a wedding. We've been examining the budget and working out where we can tighten our belts - the great thing about me not working would be that I would have time to create a lot more things from scratch. I'm also trying to ramp up additional income - trying to get Bee Of Service off the ground and looking around for possible temp positions.

The thing I failed to remember on Friday (and what I keep reminding myself now) is that everything WILL be okay. I don't mean that to sound trite, I truly believe that it will be. I survived until now, didn't I? At the beginning of last year, I had no job. I started relief teaching and most weeks had more work than I could possibly handle. I got a long-term relief job at another school that year and learnt more about classroom management (in the battlefields) than I could have possibly learnt at any course. At the end of the year, I got my current job, a job that has taught me so much about myself and the importance of family and community. Wherever I go to from here, it will continue to teach me the life lessons that I still need to learn. If one of those lessons is learning to rely on SB for a month, then that's what it will be - I hope that it's learning some exciting new skills though!

Whether you have belief in a Christian God, a higher positive power or just in yourself, you need to believe that it will be alright. You need to believe that what you are going through has purpose and is teaching you a lesson that you need to know... think on what that lesson is!

What lessons are you currently learning, Scribblettes?

It's the small things...

Right now I am sooooo full of germs I sound like a pug! Yet instead of feeling down in the dumps I actually feel quite positive about things... weird, no? Maybe it's been the enforced down time, allowing my brain to sift through all that's been going on; maybe I'm just feeling less overwhelmed. Regardless, I'm not going to look an emotional gift horse in the mouth!

SB has been so wonderful with me being sick. He's sole charge at work, dealing with his family dog being seriously ill yet he has come home two nights in a row and cooked dinner. I am so blessed to have him in my life as both my best friend and my husband to be. Bearing this in mind, I got angus beef patties out of the freezer this morning so that he could make burgers tonight. We didn't have any buns but we live 200m from a bakery so I thought I would attempt the walk.

It's winter here so the weather can be kind of miserable - I can hear heavy rain as I type this. The weather was cold but fairly mild as I headed out on my mini-journey. As I walked along there was a light breeze but it didn't cause me to cough. The sun shone down on my face and I could almost feel my body lapping up the Vitamin D. I may have had a sore ear, a blocked nose and a phlegmy throat but in that moment I was pretty darn happy.

I'm hoping that this phase of happiness and positivity continues... I was pretty over feeling flat and blue!

Grown-up stuffs

Talking to some of my students the other day, I realised that no matter how old you are... some life changes seem more grown up than you feel. For my older students, it is the thought that a year from now, they will no longer be at school. A significant percentage of them will be in some form of tertiary education but it's not the same (as I'm sure that many of you can attest to). Some will be working. Although young, some will move out of home, get jobs and be financially responsible. Chronologically, they're definitely old enough - I moved out of home at seventeen - but it does scare the pants off some of them... that this change in life is very grown up and more grown up than they feel.

I don't think it ever changes. It seems odd (but awesome, don't get me wrong) to me that we're discussing wedding plans and registries and combined incomes - at 28 and 26 we're definitely old enough to be making these changes and we're some of the last of our friends to do so - but it's a big step. Other friends have similar big life changes - mortgages and babies for a start. As we look to our parents' generation, we can see that they are having to make the adjustment to being grandparents and they also don't feel "old" enough to be the grandparents (although they made their parents grandparents at a similar age).

They say that you are only as old as you feel... and for me, that age differs. My students don't remember apartheid or a time when the internet didn't exist, that makes me feel old! Get me on a dance floor on a Saturday night and I feel sixteen again. Licking the filling of a cupcake and the pleasure I get from that experience makes me feel about three! I'm so excited to be moving forward in the story of my life but this new chapter will take some time to not feel so grown up!

Friday Grammar Nerd Fun!

I subscribe to a professional community that is rather particular about the grammar used in our governing documents - there is uproar at the moment about documents being listed as "different to" rather than "different from"... while there are those that argue that both are equally acceptable, you wouldn't use the opposite "similar from", would you?

Hee hee grammar nerds.

In order to lighten the mood, one of the posters put out this little gem - hopefully it makes you smile too!

Do not put statements in the negative form.
If any word is inappropriate at the end of a sentences, an auxillary verb
is.
Profanity and slang suck big time.
Avoid cliches like the plague. They're old hat.
It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.
Never use a big word when a hypocoristic will suffice.
Avoid tautology: it is both unnecessary and redundant.

Happy Friday!

Celebrate good times - come on!

It's been a busy time in the Scribbles/SB household - February through the beginning of March is traditionally (LOL I can say that now we've been together as long as we have) a hectic time for us as we have family birthdays, Valentine's Day, both our birthdays, our dating anniversary and my parents' wedding anniversary. This year also saw a hen night/bachelorette event, a wedding and an engagement party thrown in the mix, with both the wedding and the engagement party happening this past weekend!

I woke up Friday morning and was round to the parentals by 9 am to borrow Middle Sis' hot rollers. I got Mama Scribs to paint my nails to make the best use of the down time. It was off home to finish the transformation - make up and one of two dresses I bought with the bride the previous weekend. An hours drive to the venue, a beautiful wedding then off to SB's aunt to drop off our luggage - she kindly offered to put us up for the night. A cooling glass of juice then off to meet up with my family for dinner. Back to the hotel that a lot of the family stayed at for a celebratory glass of Baileys - something my family does in remembrance of my grandmother. Back to SB's aunt to crash on our floor bed.

We woke up on Saturday morning and put the room back to rights and had breakfast. I worked out on the exercycle (6 kms) and then got presentable for a post-wedding brunch. Had brunch/lunch. Washed all the dishes for said brunch - I never do dishes and this was a SERIOUS amount of dishes - think plates, cutlery and platters for 20 odd people. Drove an hour back home, stopping part way at the grocery store. Got home, sat down for half an hour, got up and cooked dinner. Ate dinner, glammed up and went out to engagement party. Stayed at engagement party til it ended, went out to a local bar for a couple of hours. Came home and lay in bed talking to SB... don't actually remember stopping talking but woke up late this morning!

This weekend has just been INSANE. You know what though? I loved it. We had the best time celebrating two couples' love for each other and touching base with family and friends. Do I feel like I could do with another day on my weekend? Sure! But I'll go to work tomorrow tired and content :D

Wouldn't it be nice...

... if my current school would actually give me the time off to visit the school where I will be working next year?

... if my students actually finished their assessment work by the end of this week so the mark could go on their report?

... if I lost another 2.3 kgs this week (unlikely, I have my staff Christmas function this weekend and the food sounds amazing... and points laden)?

... if I actually had the energy to exercise? Today's exercise involved carrying parcels to the post office and big gift boxes around the mall.

... if the weather could be cool enough that going to bed before midnight was an option.

Insides, outsides...

It struck me today, as I was straightening up the bedroom, how much what is going on in my life affects my surroundings. The last week felt very messy - I had my senior students leaving to go on exams, I'm still in the middle of job confusion and worry, my timetable was all warped and I'm feeling quite bloated without a clear reason (TMI?) and by the end of the week the house definitely reflected this sort of flustered muddle that I felt inside.

We were having friends over for dinner on Friday night so I decided I was going to employ the close-the-door method - you all know it, when you take all the mess from the area they are going to see, put it in a bedroom and close the door. The guests were none the wiser, I got to have lovely girl talk with Blondie and the mess, while distributed, still remained.

Today I'm feeling much more serene about things. I've had time to work through the weird timetable of last week and create a plan for the last four weeks of term. I've emailed the school with a less-than-ideal offer to discuss and the possibility of another position has come up from somewhere unexpected. Today is also the first day that I've felt like tackling the mess.

My question is... if I keep everything tidy, will this stop me from feeling so jumbled when life throws me a curveball? Your thoughts, Scribblettes...

Be careful what you wish for...

My life is soooo dull... yeah right.

So life stepped up about a million notches since the last time I wrote. After feeling like I wanted things to happen, they did. And they weren't quiet about it!

In the last week or so:

• SB and I have started seriously considering into the rental property of a friend's mother. While literally only just down the road, the thought of moving brings round a zillion other thoughts. We're hoping to view this weekend to make our final decision.
• ERO is coming to visit the school I work out. It's basically like a massive audit all NZ schools have to go to about once every three years and it is a freakin' nightmare. In theory, it would be fine and we would just be business as normal. For those of you who have ever worked in a school, you'll know how much admin falls by the wayside so you can actually, you know, teach. This week has seen everyone from senior management down fluff up the pillows (so to speak) and so the instructions and updates have been rolling in thick and fast
• In answer to an email from one HOD (I report to two separate heads of department), I said that I would work on a lesson plan to teach a unit. I meant just for me, turns out she took it to mean for all three teachers that are taking the unit. Guess what I just spent the last two hours doing?
• Teaching the "now" generation - they finished their creative writing assessment on Tuesday. Today in class: "Miss, have you marked my creative writing yet?" No sorry, I'm too busy trying to have a life with a side of nervous breakdown.
• A job has just been advertised in the school I work in and I want to apply - it's permanent, I'm currently on contract. So I'm cracking on to getting an application sorted.
• Trying to sort accommodation for New Years somewhere vaguely near a beach. Word to the wise... don't do it.
• Had plans to get a relaxing pedi this afternoon only to realise as I was leaving work that I had pants on that I couldn't push up my leg. Going pantless in a mall nail salon, not an option. Gah, postponed!

Hope that you are having a more peaceful time than I am! If you are in a tizzy like me, Scribblettes, let a sister know!

Light at the end of the tunnel...

I'm still awfully tired right now - I attempted to start this blog post yesterday but had to fight off a huge case of the CBFs* and I didn't win. I'm still not feeling any more alert and I'm hoping that I can have one massive sleep in this weekend. Yawning my head off at the moment so here's a quick update of what is going on in Scribbles' World.

• Fridge is gone and we have the fridge that we used to have when we lived on SB's parents property - probably about 25 years old but it goes and we got it free.
• The insurance claim has been approved for our car that was in the accident so it will go into the panelbeater next week! No more leaky boot!
• The other car rectified the problem it was having before the mechanics looked at it - no charge. Yay!
• Feel like I'm on a bit of a win with my students - finally feel that I have got my head around things and that we are moving forward.
• Even if we weren't, this incredibly long term is now officially halfway over.
• Because we are such awesome tenants, we now have a new mail box. Unfortunately it's the same crappy design as the old one but at least I'm not getting flakes of rust on my hand anymore.

So it has been a week so far of small wins - hope that it continues! Back soon with a post that contains a lot more conscious thought :D

*Can't be f*#ked - it's an illness, I swear LOL

Good Friday

It feels weird typing Friday in that box... today has a distinctly Saturday feeling about it. Both SB and I were absolutely exhausted last night and in bed by ten (unheard of for us). Today has been a day of pottering around the house, catching up on neglected housework - while celebrating all the awesome things that happened in March, the everyday wasn't quite kept up with. We did manage to get a long walk in the botanical gardens in today so that is something :) We were quite amazed with the amount of eating establishments open today - guess that Easter trading closures aren't the same as what they used to be... LOL saying that makes me feel so old. "Back in my day..."

Things are starting to feel a little more real about the teaching job. Went into the school on Wednesday to collect some resources and met more of the department. Got shown the classroom that is to be mine and my little cubby/work area in the staff work room. It sounds like the junior classes I'm going to teach are going to be pretty challenging but I've outlined a rough plan in my head for the lesson plans for the first week. It is really hard coming into a school in the second term - in theory, the previous teachers have these holidays to leave so I do not get keys, work laptops or photocopy cards until my first day... you know, when I am teaching and all. I'm facing an ultra-early start on that Monday so I can get a few things sorted before I walk into a classroom. Still... suck it up... you have a job, Ms Scribs!

Looking forward to the rest of the weekend - lunch and Alice in Wonderland with Mama Scribs and Littlest Sister, BBQ with friends on Saturday, catch up with ChCh Sis on Sunday for dinner and go to work with SB on Monday! I know the last one may not seem too exciting but I am a total dork and really fascinated by what he does. Any exciting plans for you over Easter, Scribblettes?

On life at the moment...

Yay! Working more frequently as a relief teacher.

Nay! Having to complete what seems to be oodles and oodles of paperwork for each new school I start with.

Yay! Getting to see students that I taught last year and continuing to have great professional relationships with them, although it is about four months since I saw then last

Nay! Feeling lonely at break times. As a relief teacher, no one knows how long I am going to be around so I don't get to participate in any of the staff room cliques.

Yay! Moved in with SB this weekend and our house is amazing.

Nay! We have both been so on the go the last week that we're on the scratchy side... we're usually a lot nicer to each other than we have been at the moment.

Yay! The weather stayed fine for the move.

Nay! The weather is so hot at the moment, it really sucks the energy out of you and makes the students more objectionable also.

Other things to Yay! about:

An awesome Valentines Day that proves my darling knows me well, our parents meeting each other and getting along, SB's birthday on Monday and having the in-laws round for dinner (went successfully), emailing my resignation from my retail job, planning to visit the lantern festival on Friday, dinner and drinks this coming Saturday to quietly celebrate our joint birthday and my birthday next Monday!

Underemployed...

And so it begins, my summer of underemployment. Don't get me wrong, I currently have two jobs that I'm squeezing in together to ensure I have a decent cashflow. But the spans of days are currently mine and it's just the nights that are cluttered. It seems counterproductive to the life I want to have - with time for friends and family - but everything is manageable for a finite time.

What do I hope for in this season of underemployment? I want to make the best use of my days, doing lunches with SB and some of my friends. I want to use the time fruitfully to go through the stuff that I have and decide what will come to SBs with me and what will stay. I want to bake treats and give them to friends and family. I want to plan Christmas menus so together as a family we can implement them and show Mama Scribbles an awesome Christmas that she doesn't have to put any effort into. I want to buy decorations for SB and my first christmas tree. I want to remember even in the midst of retail madness the spirit of Christmas, laughter, and love.

Too much to ask?

Taking control...

Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that Mama Scribbles has had a small recurrence of her cancer in one of her lymph nodes below her rib cage. It could definitely be worse - it hasn't spread from the original location. In reality, it's more of a pain in the ass then something to fall apart over and our family is continuing along focusing on the positive. Radiation (for Mama Scribs anyway) is far easier than chemo to deal with (think morning sickness and food poisoning's bastard child vs. a bad sunburn) so we just need to chin up and support mum tackling the bastard little Gerties.

I think one of the worst things about having an ill loved one is the complete lack of anything you can do about it. You can be there for them, take them to appointments, chat with them but in the end you are just on the sideline watching them fight their own personal battle. For a control freak like myself, it's tough to have a challenge like this.

So I'm throwing myself into things that I can control and affect - my job search, my group assignments and a friend's pre-wedding parties. It has a hint of the former event manager life I used to lead and part of me wonders whether it would be worth it to head back down that path but I think that teaching is definitely the right path for me right now. Who knows... maybe "Day Of" co-ordinating is a business I can set up when I'm being a SAHM a few years from now. Choices, choices....

The murky depths...

First of all, as an aside, apologies for the lack of blog love lately. I'm only able to access the blog at school, at work or jumping on someone else's computer - none of which is conducive to actually getting any quality time to write blog posts. I will be buying a new laptop this weekend so posts should get back to a semi-regular schedule!

Many, many thoughts running through my head this week... let these hit you or dodge them as you will.

• Being judged gets tiring - on placement at the moment, I'm getting observation feedback after many of the classes I teach. To put this in perspective, think about your job and getting a performance appraisal two to three times a day. I respect the feedback but sometimes it just makes you wonder how fit you are to be a teacher when you still manage to get so many things not-quite-right.
• I am exhausted. I have had a cold pretty much since I started my placement and for the most part I have just kept on chugging. I cannot wait until I am like a normal person: work-life balance is chaotic when it is work-placement-uni-life balance... and this leaves Scribbles feeling unbalanced.
• The silver lining (well, it's more like gold lining, it's fantastic) of course is the lovely relaxing times I spend with SB. We went away to Rotorua recently to celebrate six months of being together - I never get sick of that boy. I don't get to see him tonight because I am working and I miss him. And he misses me! You know that you have something special when just being in the same place is better because the other person is there.
• My visiting lecturer is ticking me off - he won't reply to give me a time that he is going to visit. It's driving me slightly mental.
• Amazing - eating pineapple stops running noses... one of those crazy but true things that has stopped me plowing through my purse packs of tissues at a crazy rate.
• I'm looking forward to spoiling myself in the holidays - pedicure, hair cut and generally gadding about with a tonne of extra time... doing lunch with the boy and absorbing myself in some big beefy books.
• I now need to crack onto some planning for lessons tomorrow so I must bid adieu... but let me know how your weeks are going!
  

News in brief...

Funny, when I type that I hear little news bulletin blips in my head (does anyone know what I am talking about or do you all just think I'm crazy?)...

• I had a fantastic time in Christchurch - full recap to come! I spent time with Andrea and we had dinner with Bridey and Charlie, fantastic blogger fun! I will be in Christchurch more often with my sister moving down there so it's good to make better friends with these awesome girls.
• The one downside of our Christchurch holiday was the spectacular spill I took down concrete car park stairs on Saturday. I don't even have the excuse of *ahem* impaired judgement - I was just busy talking to PianoMan and pulling the hotel key out of my handbag - which I might add was totally unnecessary at this stage - and there she goes. The bruise on my lower back is still coming through!
• Speaking of PianoMan, he has now decided to go by the moniker StunningBuns or SB for short. The reason for this name change will become apparent in the Christchurch recap. It's not just because he has an extremely handsome rear end, people. He will still play me a mean rendition of the Foo Fighters on the piano though :D
• I've been back since late Tuesday afternoon and haven't yet had the chance to blog - bad blogger I know. I stepped right back into the breach at work and covered a shift on Wednesday (and one this morning) and went on a $500 shopping spree with mum yesterday for some desperately needed teaching clothes.
• I'm feeling a little bit blue post-holiday. Real world is not so awesome sometimes - no long sleep ins with handsome boyfriends, no Yellow Rocket bagel, no awesome hotel. I'm sure I'll snap out of it shortly LOL
• Parties for the next three weekends - milestones abound! Birthdays, engagements, housewarmings; all very different ways of moving forward but proud of all my friends nonetheless.
• About to wrap up this cover shift and have lunch with a very dear friend... ChCh recap tomorrow morning Scribblettes!
  

Bits and bobs...

All I really want to do tonight is watch trashy TV and have a snuggle (being a woman sucks sometimes *ahem*) but PianoMan and I are hauling ourselves away from the polarfleece blanket and the oil column heater to go and have pre-drinks with some friends before they head out to the clubs tonight - we're excusing ourselves on the latter part because we have a family lunch tomorrow.
But I really don't feel like clubbing tonight anyway.

I am really starting to feel the burn of the student lifestyle. Teaching as a profession is always more than the 9-3 that people sometimes make it out to be. As well as the reports and long-term planning required and taking kids for extra-curricular activities that isn't required by a student teacher, there are short-term planning concerns, resources to create and the inevitable marking which are required. I know that I can manage everything without completely burning out.
But I can't wait for next year when I only have one job, no study and a sole focus for my career intentions.

I got really awesome feedback from my visiting lecturer - he basically said that he feels I am at a level where I could begin to teach solo. Bumping into old-English-teacher/new-deputy-principal, he asked me if I was permanent staff yet, going on to say that I couldn't leave. Jokingly sharing it with one of my supervising teachers, she told me I still have to go back and I don't disagree.
But part of me thinks I'm ready - that I would learn the rest of what I needed on the job.

I'm trying to knuckle down and be really sensible about money - I need to replace my eyeglasses (and get an optometrist exam urgently - it has been 7 years since my last one), my sneakers and my computer and I've worked out a way that I can manage all that by the end of the year without getting into debt. There's a little bit of room for fun stuff, but not a lot.
A part of me just wishes I could go crazy with money without consequences. Being a grown-up sucks balls.

I spent the whole long weekend (bar one afternoon and the time I was in church on Sunday) with PianoMan and we had a ball. We both spent fairly significant amounts of money on things (him=sexy new glasses, me=sexy new phone) but this was probably the longest time that we'd spent together too. It felt right and I think that it could be a really positive sign for a future together.
No buts here, just smiles.

Laugh my ass off... or a girl can dream :D

Off tonight to watch a comedy show - I bought the tickets and gave them to PianoMan as a little celebratory gift last week. The weather here is absolutely miserable and I'm flicking between looking glam and being warm... it's a hard decision :D I think I'm going for the layered look - it'll be a little too cold for heading to and from the car but I have the ability to shed layers in the theatre. It's so hard to get it right these days... and my only super warm coat I have is at PianoMan's house... not entirely with the program yet. It can get really annoying being bihousal.

First day back at school was fantastic but I'm wondering how I'm going to manage getting all my planning in order, complete the assignment still outstanding and also sleep this week. Lots of planning and less frivolous net time... but I love my frivolous net time. You'll have to excuse me if my posts are a little short and sweet this week... some time is needed to get my life back in order. Anyone else feeling guilty for their online time this week? Let me know in the comments.