Literary Inspiration: Once more unto the breach, dear friends

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height.

- William Shakespeare, HENRY V

It makes me laugh how much this inspiring speech from Shakespeare can be seen in the faces and the comments of my colleagues in the last week of our programme. For some of the students, today's presentations (for meeting the graduating teacher standards) were the last assessment. For others (like myself), there's just a presentaton in our curriculum speciality classes and an assignment to hand in this final week. It's funny how at this point in the year it's just a presentation, just an assignment... the things that would have had us quaking in our boots earlier this year are just another foe to slay as we forge our way across the battlefield to that finish line. I can't see any reason why I wouldn't pass any of my assignments so that means that as of Friday, I will be FREE!

It's odd, it's almost like my mind can't comprehend it. I've had holidays this year, but always had readings or assignments to start, planning to complete... at the moment I don't even have a job for next year so as of next week, my only responsibilities will be making sure I get to work at the appropriate time and just generally being awesome (that's what I call collective responsibilites to SB, family and friends)... considering everything that has been weighing on me this year, it seems like surprisingly little.

Of course, a girl has to celebrate these milestones. And while I would love to have a teaching position lined up (for next year) to celebrate also, finishing my Grad Diploma is no less a marathon effort for lack of position so far. Friday evening will find me out at dinner with SB and friends, tucking into a hearty meal and dashing back a few cocktails to celebrate my freedom (and to remind me that I no longer need to set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide, hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit to his full height!)

Any milestones you are celebrating, Scribblettes?

Literary Inspirations: Wernher von Braun on Researching

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

-Wernher von Braun

Okay, so Wernher von Braun doesn't count as a literary genius but he plays a key encounter character in the novel "Rocket Boys" and the movie "October Sky" so I'm saying roll with it, okay? LOL.

Werher von Braun may have been referring to the errors that he made along the way as research but I also think that the quote can be taken as research is what you do when there is something you don't know but would like to. Events just keep popping up left, right and centre lately, reminding me of the importance of researching those things that are not currently in your knowledge.

It can be something a simple as a price you need to research - by looking at multiple shops, SB was able to buy his video game for a LOT cheaper than the other prices he found. I'm quite a bargain shopper myself - I especially love outlet shops for underclothes! Bras for bigger busts can be so expensive so it's good to be able to research outlets where last season's fashion (and I don't really care about that, it's underwear!) can be about half price.

More importantly, research can help you discover how to live your best life. We changed the place we're planning to weekend at for our half-anniversary due to a spate of bad reviews. The new place couldn't be more delightful and we're even getting swedish massages right in our room! Looking forward at next year, I'm using the internet and my contacts in the teaching community as a way to research the schools I want to work at next year - there is a website in NZ available to the general public called Te Kete Ipurangi (I think that roughly translates to The Knowledge Basket) that has all Education Review Office reports on them - pointing out the positives and the warts of all New Zealand Schools. They have been incredibly interesting reading!

I consider the blogs I read research too. Some are mummy bloggers or wedding bloggers, both events I hope to experience in my life. Some are just the blogs of fantastic women too - and I feel those blogs are research on how to create a better me! What do you research, Scribblettes?

Literary Inspiration: The Little Prince

Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince, 1943

Stuff being grown-up! :D

Literary Inspirations: Dale Carnegie on Busy

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

-Dale Carnegie, Lecturer and Author

As part of my week of building good foundations, I feel like it is all about taking action and powering through what needs to be done. If I think about how busy the semester ahead is going to be, I can get a bit of stage fright on... being paralysed by how much I have on both academically and socially. By making lists and sticking to a format for each day, I'm doing as much as I can to be prepared and stop melt-down later on.

On this note, does anyone know where I can find a DVD copy of the movie "O" - a modern day take on Othello? I'd like to use it as a teaching resource for my assignments next term and all the NZ sites seem to be giving me dead ends. It's the one nitty-gritty bit in my to do list that won't get done!

Literary Inspiration: Abraham Lincoln on Happiness

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

I went out shopping today for a pair of thermals. It appears that I left it too late and all the ones for women of a curvy nature have disappeared off shelves. Hauling on a pair that I knew would be too small to fit, I could almost smell my own discontent. Stupid thermals, stupid shop, stupid-fat-ass-on-me-why-the-hell-don't-I lose-weight grrrrrrrrr.

Then I lifted my head up to the fitting room and mirror and smiled. I don't really have that much to be upset about. I get to go on an awesome holiday tomorrow with my darling PianoMan and we get to stay in a gorgeous hotel and spend some uninterrupted time together. If I'm freezing, it's just a good reason to snuggle.

So often, happiness is just how we choose to frame something - what we focus on as being important. Sometimes we can be less-than-happy, choosing to live in the now than focus on the joy yet to come (I know that this happens with university work and I A LOT) and sometimes it is the reverse, spoiling the happiness of now with what must unfortunately and inevitably come (like end of holidays).

Not finding thermals today meant that I had the cash to buy a pair of three quarter leggings with lace around the ends (had been on my must buy list), means I have more money to spend in Christchurch and meant I was out of the mall earlier - meaning I could come into work earlier and earn more cash. Frame the situation right and the happiness will leap out at you.

Scribblettes, what's something you can reframe today?

Literary Inspirations - Anais Nin on choosing a man

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

- Anais Nin

For those of you who may be under the illusion that PianoMan and I exist frolicking in fields full of butterflies, I must disabuse you of this notion. I don't tend to write about disagreements or harsh words that we may have because

a)my personal opinion is that relationship goings-on should primarily be kept to the two people with whom the relationship is concerned and

b) it doesn't happen that often with us - for the most part we're really compatible.

I'm breaking this rule (only partially, mind) because I think it illustrates a relationship belief I have very well.

Monday night, we had a tiff. I was stewing and I finally got to the point where I had to say something. He accepted it but felt it necessary to share something of his own back that I did not find comfortable to hear. "What? I'm not perfect? What do you mean?". It can be hard to accept that we aren't infallible beings. We're the exception to the rule - everyone else can be annoying to us but we aren't annoying to anyone else. This isn't the truth for ANYONE.

As much as what we had to say to each other was not easy for us to hear, it was important that it was being said. So many relationships bust up because of a lack of communication - how is your partner meant to meet your needs if he has no idea what they are? It was probably the first time in our relationship that we had to do this but I'm grateful to PianoMan for treating me as a woman who is able to take criticism, who is strong enough to handle the idea that she is imperfect and who makes demands on me to be a better person. It makes me have faith that this thing could have a future... and if that isn't something to make you smile on a weary Wednesday, I don't know what is.

Literary Inspirations: LM Montgomery on hair colour

"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
- LM Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Okay, I'm outing us. Both PianoMan and I are closet gingas! Closeted, I hear you question... surely you are or you aren't? To look at us both in dull light, I'm clearly a brunette and PM a rather handsome ash blonde. Photos tend to tell the same story. We keep our red hair under a metaphoric hat (and sometimes real hats too).
Having dyed my hair and had blonde highlights for many years, I finally reverted to my natural hair colour at the beginning of last year as I couldn't afford the upkeep with a student income. What's struck me as the filler dye has grown out is how naturally chestnut I am. My brown has a definite red and coppery tinge to it, to the point where it's actually looked a deep red, similar to Sophia Bush below (unfortunately where the similarity ends)

When the light hits PM's hair right, you can see his copper highlights as well. However his dead giveaway is facial hair! That's right, when my man is sporting Sawyer-like stubble it is bright ginger! Total giveaway - beard, moustache and sideburns all red-orange. We also both have the nice pale skin that natural red heads tend to have. No summer-long sunbaking for us! We need to build up our sun exposure gradually otherwise we do the white-pink-white-pink tango all summer long.
This doesn't bode well for any future children we might have - they are most likely going to be little gingers and we can only cross fingers and hope that they don't get into trouble! Or teach them to become closet gingas like their parents LOL

Literary Inspiration: Oprah Winfrey on being busy

The essential question is not, "How busy are you?" but "What are you busy at?" "Are you doing what fulfills you?"
-Oprah Winfrey

While not strictly an author (although I hope that she does personally write articles attributed to her in O magazine), this quote by the quintessential Lady O struck a chord with me this week. Am I busy? Yes I am. How busy am I? Very. My Facebook status currently tells of how overwhelmed I am currently feeling. That's all surface stuff though... the important questions to be answered require someone to dive deeper.

What am I busy at?
I am at this very point in time writing a blog article.
Is this fulfilling me?
Yes, I find it a great way of communicating with others. I find it a good way to maintain my writing skills. I find writing blog articles relaxing and a good stress release after what has been a very stressful twenty-four hours.

What am I busy at?
I need to finish a Writing Exercise assignment that I had an extension on.
Is this fulfilling me?
Possibly not so much at a personal level but it's a requirement to pass the paper. The satisfaction will come at the completion of the exercise (I need to hand it in Friday morning).

What am I busy at?
I want to go and have dinner with PianoMan.
Is this fulfilling me?
A want as opposed to a necessity, but spending time with PianoMan fulfils a need I have for connectivity, to feel that I am special and I matter - not to mention the man is incredibly sexy and I luff him a lot. I could can it, but I really don't want to.

What am I busy at?
I need to work on my plans for the classes I am teaching this semester.
Is this fulfilling me?
On multiple levels - it's finally making that connection within the classroom with the students, getting a chance to do what I have been trained to do. It's more personally fulfilling than the assignment that is due.

What am I busy at?
Tomorrow night I will be having dinner with friends I haven't seen in a while.
Is this fulfilling me?
Right now it seems like the one thing that could be culled but I worry I'd regret it. It's with friends, two of whom I haven't seen in years (emphasis on plural years), not likely to happen again any time soon as one is seven months pregnant.

I'm horrendously busy (and also completely knackered from a nightmare shift at work last night) but it's all relevant.
Damnit!
The things that keep you busy - are they the things that fulfil you? Let me know in the comments.

Literary Inspiration: Khalil Gibran on Joy

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

- Khalil Gibran, author of The Prophet.

As some of you will know already, our family received the best news possible yesterday. My mother had an appointment with her surgeon to receive the pathology results from the autopsy of her breast tissue removed in her mastectomy a week ago. We were all incredibly nervous. It's been a hard slog since she first got diagnosed with her rare and agressive form of cancer nine months ago - chemo, radiation and infections all documented in this blog and in her own. The survival rate on this type of cancer has been improving but it's still one of the crappier cancers to get. 3pm saw me and my sister at home waiting impatiently for a phonecall.

Ring, ring...

The phonecall came, we held our breath... the cancer was gone. As in not a trace. The pathologist had actually rung the surgeon to confirm that it was actually cancer they were meant to be looking for. They will be performing what they call a resection - where they cut the little pieces into smaller pieces but it doesn't change the result. It's gone, that part of our life that's in statis can now move forward and flourish. We live life newly grateful for what we have... the trial has made us stronger.

Literary Inspirations: Boris Posternack on Health

The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant, systematic duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune. Our nervous system isn't just a fiction, it's part of our physical body, and our soul exists in space and is inside us, like teeth in our mouth. It can't be forever violated with impunity.

-Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago

Ironic, huh, that I find this quote almost immediately after writing that article on my own fears. In all that is going on with Mum, we have to remember that honesty in our feelings and bottling up really doesn't do OUR health any good. It's when my head is about to explode that I eat that whole packet of chips. I curl up in my room instead of going for walks. It's letting one form of duplicity (where I'm saying I'm fine and feeling the absolute opposite, pretending I'm okay with something when I'm really not) ruin all the good parts of my life.

Join with me in banning the twee "I'm fine, and you?" response to your friends - if you're upset, angry, bored, tired, etc, let me know in the comments. I'm a friend you can be honest with. Let out anything that is tying your nervous system up in knots.

Literary Inspirations: George Bernard Shaw on Growing Old

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing"

- George Bernard Shaw

It's so easy as we enter our adult lives to lose the joy of play. Adult responsibilities take our focus. We have jobs, we pay the bills, we concentrate on the big picture, the future, making sacrifices for the now because we want the fun times later.

Ms.B brought my lovely little nieces down this weekend for an Easter Egg hunt - I had baby-sat them over Easter last year and they had loved joining in with little sis on a treasure hunt for Easter eggs. Sitting at the table, decorating our Easter baskets while the *ahem* Easter Bunny hid the eggs, the excitement that the girls had about what lay ahead was palpable.

Chasing C down the side of the house as she went to the letterbox for the next clue, I got caught up in the excitement, the energy of the adventure. It's the same feeling that I had on Friday when PianoMan and I followed a beach path and ended up with no idea where we were. It's the same feeling I get when swinging on monkey bars, when rollerskating up and down a smooth patch of pavement, when yelling "in your face!" to someone that I've beaten in a game LOL.

Don't grow old before your time by forgetting the joy of play - give me your thoughts in the comments about what makes you feel young.

Literary Inspirations: William Penn, found on a random piece of paper.

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.

- William Penn

While in McDonalds (of all places!) on Sunday afternoon, I grabbed a little locally produced newsletter to pass the time until PianoMan came to the table with our food. Bam- right there was the aforementioned quote and it kind of blew my mind. I had no idea who William Penn even was, but I knew that I wanted to share this with you.

It turns out that William Penn founded Pennsylvania in the United States as a somewhat spiritual idyll - it was a province based on religious and moral ideals (my friends from the land of the brave, please enlighten further if you can!). Whether you are religious or not, living life by this creed - doing good and having no regrets - can only be good for your community.

It's inspired me to get involved with my church holiday programme for the holidays. I'm not going to be horrifically burdened by the assignments that need to be completed, I've got very little in the way of work, most of my friends will be working... As much as I'm sure he'd disagree, me showing up on the stoop of PianoMan's work every lunchtime for two weeks would probably get fairly old. I'm being presented with a unique opportunity to volunteer my time and sitting selfishly on my butt is not showing kindness. I may as well sit on my butt at the beach keeping an eye on kids in the water :D

What kindnesses are you doing because you will not get this time again? Scribblettes, I lay down the challenge for you to think of a good deed to do and commit to following through in the comments below. I look forward to hearing these!

Literary Inspiration: Anne Radcliffe on Happiness

Happiness arises in a state of peace, not of tumult.

-Anne Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho (1764).

Those of us who have grown up reading the classics will recognise "The Mysteries of Udolpho" as the novel that Catherine reads in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey. Like many (including several of the characters of the novel Jane Austen Book Club) I always believed that this was a novel that Ms Austen made up to carry a particular theme into the book - wrong! It's a real book filled with little tidbits like the one above.

I think true happiness lies in feeling the bliss of moments; my favourite moments lately seem to consist of quiet nights - calmly eating my way through a delicious dinner with the boy, admiring the tinfoil swan my leftovers came in, lying in bed talking about hopes and dreams, holding hands in silence on a drive through dark countrysides, walking through a school and hearing "Hi miss! How are you enjoying (school name redacted)?". Happiness is in the face of my high school drama teacher squealing with joy because she sees me, in the little desk that my associate teachers have created for me in the block staff room, in the chocolate soy milk waiting in the fridge for me tonight. What is the peace that you find your happiness in?

Literary Inspirations - George Orwell on Children

Never have ideas about children, and never have ideas for them

-George Orwell

Sage words to keep in mind, as either a parent or a teacher. I start my practicum next week at the school I hope to be teaching at next year and at the moment my mind is just overwhelmed with different ideas and theories and information. The moment I step in front of a class, none of that is going to matter. It will be me, it will be them and we'll work together to learn regardless of Piaget's theories. I'm thrilled and really nervous at the same time, but this is the culmination of why I went back to study in the first place.

Literary Inspirations: Victor Hugo on Deafness

“What matters deafness of the ears when the mind hears? The one true deafness, the incurable deafness, is that of the mind”

-Victor Hugo

A bit tongue in cheek this week, I've been half deaf this week due to having a nasty ear infection that only infants are meant to get. No wonder they scream and yell when they get it, it really hurts and they have no way of communicating that. Despite only hearing things out to the right to me and feeling off kilter, life has been getting steadily better since the Sunday/Monday hooha when I had to work an extra shift on Sunday and woke up on Monday feeling like I had elephantitis of the left side of my head. Emails and texts have totally helped as well... it's nice to have someone who will mock you in a very caring way :D

I did like this quote though - there's nothing worse with someone who has a closed mind. I'm not so narcissistic as to believe everyone should share my point of view. We write in a blogosphere where one person may have a completely different take or opinion on something - we're multi-national, multi-cultural, multi-spiritual. We support different political movements, we're pessimists, optimists, realists. Sometimes I'll read something on a blog that I really don't agree with - it's not valid in my personal life experience. That doesn't give me the right to dismiss it out of hand as a valid way for that person to live their life and it doesn't give me the right to dismiss all their writing based on one comment... by becoming deaf to them I could find that I miss some gems of advice that could change my life.

Literary Inspiration: Thomas Hardy on Affection

" . . . the highest form of affection is based on full sincerity on both sides."

Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

Enough said.

Literary Inspiration on Aging - John Galsworthy

James had passed through the fire, but he had passed also through the river of years which washes out the fire; he had experienced the saddest experience of all--forgetfulness of what it was like to be in love.

-The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy

While flicking through trying to find a suitable quote to do with aging (why? Cause it's my birthday on Sunday! Am I big-upping myself? Abso-freakin-lutely!) I came across this quote from The Forsyte Saga. As I read it, it made me think - and as per usual you guys get to join me on that journey. Lucky you :P

I was on Facebook yesterday and looking through photos of friends at a drinks thing that I wasn't able to make. Hitting next, next, next. All of a sudden popped up a picture of Ex-S with his arm around another girl... and it didn't hurt anymore. I was surprised, but I didn't get the stab in the heart that I used to. I've come through the fire and out the other side of it fairly whole. But with the course of time (and it has taken a LONG time for it not to hurt anymore - we broke up in Nov 07) the bad memories have started to fade and that's not a bad thing

BUT

the good ones seem to have faded a bit too. I remember them as fun, but not with that golden-shimmer sparkle. I seem to have lost the nerve or the desire to say, like the character of Gareth toasts the couple at the Scottish wedding in the film, Four Weddings and a Funeral:

"A toast before we go into battle. True love - in whatever shape or form it may
come - may we all in our dotage be proud to say 'I was adored once too'."

I miss feeling like I was adored once, and I don't know what to do to get that feeling back. Any hints or ideas, Scribblettes?

Literary Inspiration - Henry V

"All things are ready, if our minds be so."

- Henry V, William Shakespeare

I'm an avid Shakespeare buff. For a man who lived centuries ago, many of his themes are as relevant in today's society as they were when the plays were first written. Who hasn't felt that their love has been star-cross'd? Many a parent has despaired like King Lear and a large lot of relationships in our teens and early twenties start from ungainly beginnings like Beatrice and Benedick. With such a breadth of work, it's hard to pick "favourite" quotes but I felt that this quote was very applicable to my state of mind today.

I woke up this morning in serious contemplation. Maybe it's the fact that I'm soon to turn 24 (a week and a half, I can barely believe it) or maybe it's the fact that I'm just about to start the teaching component of my training and my future now seems to be becoming very real. I sat at the desk between customers contemplating what I was searching for, what were the pieces of the puzzle that were missing. Lo and behold, by the end of the day I have a lead on a teaching job for next year. Now if I focus that hard on Prince Charming...

Literary Inspiration: George Santayana on Friendship

One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.

-George Santayana

Over the last couple of weeks I've been lucky to have the opportunity to finally connect in real-life with some of the wonderful people I've met through this blog.While in Christchurch I had the pleasure of meeting up with Andrea of A Cat of Impossible Colour. I was a bit nervous as she was the first person I'd ever met through our mutual bloggy friendship. I had no need to be, we talked widely about a whole bunch of mutual topics (including how, if pressed, we would slaugher our own meat! LOL) as we sipped away on our iced frappes. We also talked about the general disappearance of Miss Karen from around the blogosphere - if you're out there honey, drop me or Andrea a line so we know you're okay! She also gave me Monsieur Petit, whom some of you may from his previous appearance on her blog.
I took him to Akaroa, the only place in New Zealand settled by the French. About an hour outside of Christchurch, I was in Francophile heaven! Monsieur Petit has his own photo album on my Facebook profile and I can't agree more with the following comment:
Akaroa is totally his spiritual home. "I ride zee tiny Hector's Dolphins and taunt zee Blue Penguins while eating a croissant! Hong hong hong." That's the closest I can get to describing French-sounding laughter).Monsieur Petit also came with me to meet Alice, one of my dear readers from Tasmania! She happened to be holidaying in Auckland so me and Monsieur caught the train in to meet her and drunk our take-out coffees on the waterfront. It was really lovely and a nice way to relax after work.
It's amazing how quickly we can become friendly with our fellow blog authors and our readers. In some ways they know more about the real us than some of our friends... us girlie bloggers don't tend to censor ourselves and as a result we are more "human" with each other - we experience the highs and the lows of each other's lives even if we are miles apart. Do you have friendships (or relationships?) that you can never have imagined having without the advent of the internet? Do you feel that you are more human with them, that you are less likely to hide your flaws and neuroses? Let me know in the comments.

Literary Inspiration - Mark Twain on Education

"When I am king, they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books; for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved . . . "

-The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain

So often charity is targeted on the basic necessities - food, clothing and shelter. Don't get me wrong, those things are incredibly important. But that's not where it should stop... How do we expect the situations of impoverished children to improve when we don't provide the necessities of education that all those above the "bread line" take for granted. Providing those children with sub-par education facilities dooms them to perpetuating a cycle of ignorance, leaving them with no resources with which to improve their outlook for the future.

This is why Room to Read is a favourite charity of mine. Their mission is best summed up by this excerpt from their website:

We partner with local communities throughout the developing world to provide
quality educational opportunities by establishing libraries, creating local
language children's literature, constructing schools, providing education to
girls and establishing computer labs. We seek to intervene early in the lives of
children in the belief that education empowers people to improve socioeconomic
conditions for their families, communities, countries and future generations.
Through the opportunities that only education can provide, we strive to break
the cycle of poverty, one child at a time.

Set up by a former Microsoft Exec, the charity's motto is that "World Change Starts With Educated Children" - I may feel even stronger about this as I'm going to be a high school teacher, but I think it is a motto we can all find some agreement in. Find more info on the charity here.