Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have seen my frantic postings on Friday regarding my job. For those of you who may have missed it, I've just had confirmation that my contract teaching position will be finishing a month earlier than expected. Not the worst thing that could have happened but it isn't ideal either when we are saving for a wedding. We've been examining the budget and working out where we can tighten our belts - the great thing about me not working would be that I would have time to create a lot more things from scratch. I'm also trying to ramp up additional income - trying to get Bee Of Service off the ground and looking around for possible temp positions.
The thing I failed to remember on Friday (and what I keep reminding myself now) is that everything WILL be okay. I don't mean that to sound trite, I truly believe that it will be. I survived until now, didn't I? At the beginning of last year, I had no job. I started relief teaching and most weeks had more work than I could possibly handle. I got a long-term relief job at another school that year and learnt more about classroom management (in the battlefields) than I could have possibly learnt at any course. At the end of the year, I got my current job, a job that has taught me so much about myself and the importance of family and community. Wherever I go to from here, it will continue to teach me the life lessons that I still need to learn. If one of those lessons is learning to rely on SB for a month, then that's what it will be - I hope that it's learning some exciting new skills though!
Whether you have belief in a Christian God, a higher positive power or just in yourself, you need to believe that it will be alright. You need to believe that what you are going through has purpose and is teaching you a lesson that you need to know... think on what that lesson is!
What lessons are you currently learning, Scribblettes?
Showing posts with label Universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Universe. Show all posts
A life portfolio
While I type this post, I'm also uploading files to create a professional portfolio as one of my course requirements. It's a collation of the work that I have done over the entire year and shows how I fit the required graduating teacher standards. The files can be screen shots, essays, lesson plans, images, associate reports - basically anything that answers one of the specified requirements we must fulfill for provisional registration.
Pulling out files from every corner of my computer, I've also come across a lot of other files - poetry I wrote when I was nine, a certificate my mum made me for making my first ever banana cake, photos galore and even some archived MSN conversations. A digital shaping of my life so far, one might call it.
It got me to thinking... if I had to put together a portfolio of my life, what would be in it? What standards would I have hoped to live my life by? What values are important to me and what do I want to achieve? How do I measure that I've got there? The photo above shows that I take the time to enjoy both people and places, no matter how busy I get. I took time out from working on my assignments and housework on the weekend to go for a walk with my darling SB at a favourite beach of ours (where we first started talking about our future, actually) and loved having his company in the wonderful weather that NZ switched on for us.
There are standards in my life portfolio I can meet at the moment (being a dutiful daughter, being a supportive girlfriend, etc, etc) and other standards I hope I can meet in the future (being a loving and kind mother, a conscientious home owner and neighbour). What is in your life portfolio? How do you know you've achieved the standard?
Happy Birthday! A tribute to a wonderwoman!
Some people make the world better just for being in it... and your big heart makes my world better, in the gray times, in the good times...
Some people aren't always appreciated for the unique and marvellous people that they have become but know that I appreciate you - though you are oceans away I know you care.
You bring joy and laughter to those around you - colour and sparkle, love and light. I smile at the Web 2.0 way that you have become such a close friend.
Though you may sometimes feel that you are behind a cloud, hopefully this tribute helps you realise what an absolute princess among women you are.
Some people aren't always appreciated for the unique and marvellous people that they have become but know that I appreciate you - though you are oceans away I know you care.
You bring joy and laughter to those around you - colour and sparkle, love and light. I smile at the Web 2.0 way that you have become such a close friend.
Though you may sometimes feel that you are behind a cloud, hopefully this tribute helps you realise what an absolute princess among women you are.
Sing us a song, he's my PianoMan...
Chilling out yesterday with the boy, we were looking at costs of flights to Sydney (he's quite keen to come with me in July). While I had the laptop on my legs I decided to show him my website. He's known that I blog but that's been about the extent of it and as we are now an official item, I told him that he had to choose a pseudonym. He's an amazingly talented piano player (just watching his hands blows me away) and so he will be referred to here on out as PianoMan :D
Things between us continue to go fantastically and I can't believe that it will be a month tomorrow. It seems like we only met yesterday yet we've known each other forever. I feel so comfortable with him, it's insane. I used to be really weird about guys touching my tummy - it's not flat, by any stretch of the imagination - but with him it doesn't bother me. It feels comforting and close.We met via a Facebook email and we continue to write them to other every other day or so... it figures that a fantastic relationship of mine would be documented in the written word. He makes me smile, he appreciates me for who I am and makes me look forward to our possible future together.
This is a fairly sentimental and content post and I promise I won't get gushy on you guys too often - just for now I want to wallow in happiness and bliss and the apparent reality of dreams come true.
2008... a retrospective.
2008 has certainly been one heck of a rollercoaster ride... gasping heights, screaming lows... times where I just gripped onto that metal bar for dear life. Here's a completely honest recap of my year - Scribbles uncensored, if you will.
January-March:
The start of the year saw me leave full-time employment to take the leap into the tertiary education path that will see me fulfilling my passions in 2010. I was still recovering from the blindsider that was Ex-S and I breaking up. I got totalled at a friend's engagement party after seeing my "replacement" for the first time and being felt up by the future groom. I freaked out about what I had done with my life, starting to doubt whether I should have left a fulltime job to be a poor student. I lost about six kgs, purely from not eating (not recommended). I got to a point that I realised I was going through the floor and I started seeing a therapist - I'm grateful that I have parents that brought me up to feel that there is no shame in doing this. I turned 23 and did absolutely nothing to celebrate it.
April - June:
I moved back in with my parents for the first time in five years. I had a rebound relationship, which true to form ended badly. I learnt to stop looking for men to make me whole. I knuckled down with my study and realised that I had possibly made the best decision in my life returning to study. I got annoyed with myself because I still wasn't over what had happened with Ex-S. I worked on building up my friendships outside of the insular group of couples I hung out with in 2007. I started this blog (possibly another one of the best decisions I ever made!). I began my new job at the Arts Centre and soon realised how much I loved it compared to my old job! I started dating again.
July - September:
I went on my first proper holiday in years to Christchurch. I had a session with my cousins, who then proceeded to tell their parents about it *cringe* in the middle of a Thai restaurant *cringe* after which my aunty started complaining that her children never ask her to get stoned with them*oh Lord help me shrink into my chair and die*. My mum got diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. I joined a church (and yes, those things are totally as related as they seem) and made a whole bunch of new friends. I made net friends with the most gorgeous girls I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. God (or the universe, whichever you believe) sent in the largest influx of positive people in my life I think I've ever had. I totally laxed out on my university studies yet still seemed to get passing grades. I spent more time with family, things hitting home that time is precious and life is too short. I lost some friends that didn't understand that.
October - December:
I completed my GradDipArts. I got a new look for the Scribbles website. I joined Lady Bloggers of Australasia and made even more fantastic friends! I grew closer to some unexpected friends who help me on my path to awesomeness. I kissed a boy I shouldn't have but find it difficult to regret it. I took a dating hiatus and spent December just laxing out, taking time for my life and myself without the pressure of "looking". I enrolled in my papers for 2009 and started making solid '09 plans. I stopped caring what other people think - summed up in the song by 3LW "Playas Gon' Play"
Playas, they gonna play
And haters, they gonna hate
Ballers, they gonna ball
Shot callers, they gonna call
That ain't got nothin' to do
With me and you
That's the way it is
That's the way it is
If you're gonna be a hater... see ya later. I don't want to waste my time and precious energy on you. I went on a couple of delicious mini-breaks and got to see more of this beautiful country that I live in. I came to terms with the fact that I am not at a place where "Little Me" always thought I would be, and I'm okay with that.
So there is my 2008 in a nutshell (Ahhh help me, I'm stuck in a nutshell!) - the good, the bad and the extraordinarily ugly. Here's to 2009 and all that it brings!
Like burning paper, you can't get it back...
We had a contemplation service at church on Sunday night and the proceedings were so beautiful that I thought that I should share it with you. You wouldn't have to be Christian or even particularly spiritual to experience this... it was just a really amazing time to both reflect and look forward.
The room was set up in several stations, lit really dimly so that you could just see the pictures that hung on the walls and though other people were in the room, you felt like you were relatively alone. Along one wall were pictures of nature, space and other natural wonders, inviting you at Christmas to realise how beautiful this world we live in is - from the majestic splendour of a nebula to the perfectly formed sphere of dew on a bright green leaf.
At the next station, a board lit up with a blacklight asked you in fluoro text about what would you do if you heard the call? In a Christian context, this would be the call of God in your heart but it's not just a Christian thing. We all know the call you feel when you know you have the ability to make change in someone's life, even in just a really small way. Over the Christmas period and in 2009, will you answer that call and make the difference?
The part that helped me the most was getting to the station of candles. Here each person was invited to take a piece of paper and pen and write down all the sadness and disappointment that they had felt in 2008.
And then we set fire to them.
Bet you weren't expecting that (my church is awesome!). In a Christian context, it represented giving all your problems and worries over to God. In a non-religious context, it can be looked at as getting everything out of your system and releasing it into the universe. Like paper burning into smoke and ash, you can't get those disappointments back. They're gone - it's time to start afresh.
Whether you are religious, spiritual or a devout believer that this life is all there is, spend some time before the new year starts getting out all your disappointments out of your system. Find a quiet space to meditate on releasing them and then burn those burdens and cares away. I came home feeling much lighter for having released all my junk and I hope you will too!
The room was set up in several stations, lit really dimly so that you could just see the pictures that hung on the walls and though other people were in the room, you felt like you were relatively alone. Along one wall were pictures of nature, space and other natural wonders, inviting you at Christmas to realise how beautiful this world we live in is - from the majestic splendour of a nebula to the perfectly formed sphere of dew on a bright green leaf.
At the next station, a board lit up with a blacklight asked you in fluoro text about what would you do if you heard the call? In a Christian context, this would be the call of God in your heart but it's not just a Christian thing. We all know the call you feel when you know you have the ability to make change in someone's life, even in just a really small way. Over the Christmas period and in 2009, will you answer that call and make the difference?
The part that helped me the most was getting to the station of candles. Here each person was invited to take a piece of paper and pen and write down all the sadness and disappointment that they had felt in 2008.
And then we set fire to them.
Bet you weren't expecting that (my church is awesome!). In a Christian context, it represented giving all your problems and worries over to God. In a non-religious context, it can be looked at as getting everything out of your system and releasing it into the universe. Like paper burning into smoke and ash, you can't get those disappointments back. They're gone - it's time to start afresh.
Whether you are religious, spiritual or a devout believer that this life is all there is, spend some time before the new year starts getting out all your disappointments out of your system. Find a quiet space to meditate on releasing them and then burn those burdens and cares away. I came home feeling much lighter for having released all my junk and I hope you will too!
The Universe talks to me...
Does it talk to you?
"A Community Service Reminder from the Universe:
Natasha, your gifts are innumerable; your depth is incalculable; your presence is unforgettable.
Your touch is healing; your style is appealing; your power is mind reeling.
And you are loved and adored on a moment-to-moment basis, more than you can now comprehend.
Just like we planned - The Universe"
Natasha, your gifts are innumerable; your depth is incalculable; your presence is unforgettable.
Your touch is healing; your style is appealing; your power is mind reeling.
And you are loved and adored on a moment-to-moment basis, more than you can now comprehend.
Just like we planned - The Universe"
No matter what belief system you subscribe to, there is no doubt that these little notes from the universe can brighten your day just like a concerned email from a dear friend. In times of stress and self-doubt (and isn't exam time brilliant like that??) it's definitely one of the tools in my arsenal. Check out Totally Unique Thoughts (TUT) if you need a little boost in your day.
Update: Added TUT link, it appears my mind is solely focused on the story of Beatrice Joanna and Deflores... bonus points if you have any idea what I'm talking about.
Counting my blessings...
In this world, it's so easy to get caught up in what we don't have... I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have a lot of money, I don't have another job for the Christmas holiday slump period. I sure as heck don't have a body like Jessica Alba - if anything I represent a lumpier version of Kim Kardashian! But you know what is so freeing?
NONE of this matters...
I don't have a boyfriend? It's sure better than having the wrong boyfriend, one whom I've outgrown or treats me badly. It gives me the freedom to make choices purely on what's right for me, rather than having to orchestrate huge compromises. It means that I have the opportunity to build stronger relationships with other important people in my life.
I don't have a lot of money? It makes me more careful about the money I do have. On the search for the mythical perfect cardi I've found many that would 'sort of' do the job but haven't purchased any. I would rather save my cash in the hopes that the ideal cardi comes along. I also am by no stretch of the imagination poor, poverty is not an issue. I'm able to pay off debt, save and give - I'm definitely making the most of what I have, even though it is less than what I am used to.
I don't have a second job lined up? At least I'm grateful for having the first... I have an awesome job with great people. I have a couple of months before I'm looking at working a second job anyway. I have a large network of friends and by communicating my need to them I'm increasing my chances of finding a position that suits me.
I don't look like Jessica Alba... it's not part of my job to look slim and athletic. It is part of her job, she gets paid partially because of her attractiveness. Sure, I may not be a particular man's cup of tea because he prefers a body shape that's different to mine, but that's his loss. The right guy will like me for who I am, not what I look like anyway. I want to lose weight, but that's a health issue as opposed to a size issue... I will never be an Sz 8 (quite frankly, with curves like mine I doubt I'll ever be a Sz 10) and I've grown to love my hourglass shape with the "child-bearing" hips and embrace my va-va-voom!
It's just a waste of time to get upset about things that aren't important in the grand scheme of things, and things that we have very little influence over. What things do you start thinking negatively about before realising that you can flip it all around?
Just call me Special Agent Scribbles...
Driving home tonight, I hop off the motorway and head towards my house. As I'm driving down in the train of cars, I catch something highly suspicious out of the corner of my eye. Three youths running in and out of a house (a darkened house) chucking stuff into the boot of a car that was parked on the same side of the road but in the wrong direction.
Your favourite Scribble wondered as she drove past whether there could be any adequate reason for these people to be doing something crazy like that.... nope, couldn't really think of one.
By this stage I'm at the intersection; I swing a right and pull over and ring the police. I mean, if it was my house, and even if it was me running in and out, I'd have appreciated someone calling the cops. I gave them all the details I could (which weren't a lot, with it being dark and with me not being able to stop and observe) and they sent cops out to look. By the time the cops got there, the guys had already left and they were having trouble locating the property. I got to hop back in my car, make a rendezvous with the police and show them the houses that the guys were running in and out of. When I left they were about to do property searches and interviews with the surrounding houses.
I don't know if it will achieve anything, but I'm glad I called. I don't think I'm the kind of person who can see something like that and just let it slide. And the police thought I did the right thing - GOLD star for Scribbles :D
Your favourite Scribble wondered as she drove past whether there could be any adequate reason for these people to be doing something crazy like that.... nope, couldn't really think of one.
By this stage I'm at the intersection; I swing a right and pull over and ring the police. I mean, if it was my house, and even if it was me running in and out, I'd have appreciated someone calling the cops. I gave them all the details I could (which weren't a lot, with it being dark and with me not being able to stop and observe) and they sent cops out to look. By the time the cops got there, the guys had already left and they were having trouble locating the property. I got to hop back in my car, make a rendezvous with the police and show them the houses that the guys were running in and out of. When I left they were about to do property searches and interviews with the surrounding houses.
I don't know if it will achieve anything, but I'm glad I called. I don't think I'm the kind of person who can see something like that and just let it slide. And the police thought I did the right thing - GOLD star for Scribbles :D
I'm baa-ack
A whole week since I last posted - I made an attempt to post while I was at my cousins, but the computer threw a spaz at me trying to log in to the Blogger website, so I flagged it. Had the best time, did so many things and enjoyed my time with old and new friends. Didn't manage to make it out clubbing at all, but life was serendipitous in the way it worked out. The Saturday night clubbing plans were put on hold after it started snowing - which I had so wanted for it to do while I was there - and put aside for drinking in front of the fireplace at the cousins' gorgeous villa. Pre-mixed cocktails are the devil LOL and it gives me an excuse to go down in summer and party hard with B at the clubs. Will go into further details in a later post, but the holiday itself was marvellous... and had another "Universe loves me!" moment on the way home. I was one of the last to check in for my flight and only centre seats were available. I was a bit disappointed as I'd hoped to see both Christchurch and Auckland lights (it was a night flight). Anyway, I resigned myself to the fact that I'd chosen to spend some great time with S & B rather than get to the airport early to get a seat and I was happy with that. It comes time to board and I hop on the plane and into my middle seat. The gentleman with the aisle seat comes on and sits down, and finally the last guy for our particular row comes in with his 3 friends. He apologises to us, says he got the seat placements muddled and would we mind shuffling one over so that he could sit on the aisle and talk to his friends. I got my window seat! And it was every bit as wonderful as I thought it would be. Absolutely knackered from my full on holiday and a little sad that I'm back, but more details on the fun times tomorrow.
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