If there's one thing I've learnt, guiding my friends through many trials and tribulations (and experiencing some of these myself), it is that everyone has completely different ways of dealing with these stressful and emotional times. What helps one person feel better will make another person feel worse and when people don't deal with it the way you do, it can leave you confused.
Those who follow me on Twitter may have noticed that some of my tweets have sounded pretty sad recently and the truth is I've been down in the dumps. There isn't one major thing that's set me off, it's been a whole lot of crappy little annoying things that have amounted to a rather heavy load on the camel's back.
How do I deal? It seems to have to changed and whether that's through maturity or circumstances, I'm unsure. I used to be a drama queen and I'm not anymore. I'd storm off to my room, shouting obscenities and making a big hullabaloo. After my depression at the end of 2007 though, I've noticed that the way I deal with things has changed. When I'm annoyed or irritated, I keep my mouth shut and instead of curling up in my room I run... not run away as such but I head out. Far far away...
Talking to my pastor's wife on Sunday afternoon, I brought up the fact that I seem to be escaping home whenever I can (tonight is a prime example, I'm staying at CCs), going out to parties or meeting friends in bar. PW helped me see the reason why I don't stay at home - with mum being sick and Dad and sis also being stressed, there is no way that it feels like a relaxing place to be. So I go out, I have a couple of drinks and dance until I forget and that's not a horrific way to deal with it... hey, my church even approves LOL
So how do you guys deal? Tell me in the comments.
I'm really sorry that you're having such a tough time, love.. please know that I'm always here, anytime, if you need to talk/scream! I mean it!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, my way of dealing with stressful situations was very similar to your original method! I'd yell, curse and generally just work myself up into a humungous ball of rage, and listen to lots of angry music! These days (thankfully), my approach is completely different.. if I get annoyed, upset, or angry, my immediate reaction is to try and solve the problem.. I think ''okay, fine.. I'm pissed.. what can I do about this? How can I fix this?'' I'm definitely a believer in an optimistic outlook, too.. I find that no matter how frustrated I may get with something, if I can concentrate on the positive and exude gratitude for the good things that I DO have, I feel a lot better.
Have you considered trying EFT? I know there's been a lot of talk about it, and beeeelieve me, I'm fairly cynical, but I have tried it before and found that it really does help!
Aw kid :( Hang in there, I completely know how you feel. I'm sure stuff will get good again, you just have to block out the bad shit and channel all the goodness! Easier said than done, I know, but try- even trying will help. It has taken me about 2 years to get remotely happy again, and it's SOOO good being me again!
ReplyDeleteIm having a hard time, and now I just take one day at a time. I don't think what its going to happen in the future or get all worried because of something that its far away, I just think today and tomorrow well God will keep my strength up. If you can't change the situation then you can't worry too much, if you can then just change it don't think about what will happen after you fix it. :) Im following you on twit so youcan DM anytime :). I have ablog post about it its called happy.
ReplyDeleteSisa
I'm so sorry about the stuff you're going through. I second Sisa, taking it one day at a time seems to work best. For me personally I get myself in a routine, a tight schedule and I got into a robotic mode of sorts where I'm busy DOING with not much time to feel :(. It does get better. Get busy! Hope you feel better soon. I send you a hug!
ReplyDeleteDancing is such the best coping mechanism. Defo one of my mine. I'm also a fan of sleeping (a bit avoidant, but really, unless I'm procrastinating, things ALWAYS feel better after a nap or a good night's sleep), writing letters, walking to a faraway library to get a good book, and journaling. Though there is a place for the crying/swearing/freaking out reaction in my life too!
ReplyDelete