Literary Inspirations - Anais Nin on choosing a man

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin

For those of you who may be under the illusion that PianoMan and I exist frolicking in fields full of butterflies, I must disabuse you of this notion. I don't tend to write about disagreements or harsh words that we may have because
a)my personal opinion is that relationship goings-on should primarily be kept to the two people with whom the relationship is concerned and
b) it doesn't happen that often with us - for the most part we're really compatible.
I'm breaking this rule (only partially, mind) because I think it illustrates a relationship belief I have very well.
Monday night, we had a tiff. I was stewing and I finally got to the point where I had to say something. He accepted it but felt it necessary to share something of his own back that I did not find comfortable to hear. "What? I'm not perfect? What do you mean?". It can be hard to accept that we aren't infallible beings. We're the exception to the rule - everyone else can be annoying to us but we aren't annoying to anyone else. This isn't the truth for ANYONE.
As much as what we had to say to each other was not easy for us to hear, it was important that it was being said. So many relationships bust up because of a lack of communication - how is your partner meant to meet your needs if he has no idea what they are? It was probably the first time in our relationship that we had to do this but I'm grateful to PianoMan for treating me as a woman who is able to take criticism, who is strong enough to handle the idea that she is imperfect and who makes demands on me to be a better person. It makes me have faith that this thing could have a future... and if that isn't something to make you smile on a weary Wednesday, I don't know what is.

1 comment:

  1. It makes me really happy that you used the word "disabuse."