Chicken or...


In a chat with Abstract Aucklander on Twitter, we discussed our changing attitudes to children in our lives. Even three years ago (still well past my teenage years) I had the attitude that I would like kids someday. My friends' kids were adorable and I loved to hang out with them but I also loved the fact that I could give them back. I was all about achieving everything I wanted and fitting kids around that reality and yet now... now I want to make it a priority.

No, I'm not preggers/hapu/enciente and still don't intend on being so before I'm married. There are still things that I want to accomplish before we have kids...
  • SB and I are in a committed relationship but I would like to formalise that in marriage before we start a family. I know it's not a priority for everyone, but it is one for us. It's what we grew up with and is familiar to us. Our parents have been married for over 50 years combined.
  • I want to get my teaching registration - I do plan on taking a significant amount of time off work when my children are small and it will be easier to return to the work force if I have my full rego. Provided that I can get another job when this one ends at the end of the year, I should have my full registration in Term 2, 2012.
  • I want to replace my bomb of a vehicle with something more reliable (and with automatic rather than manual transmission) and pay in cash.
  • A couple of overseas trips that are unlikely to happen when we have small children.
So logically, we'll be looking at having kids in about three/four years time. This works for us as we don't want to be older parents and with my PCOS issues, it is better for us to try while I'm still in my twenties. I may be hearing my ovaries sigh as I watch my friends cuddle their young children but my heart is on board with this being the right thing to do.

That said, having talked about this in detail with SB has lead us to make several decisions that we can't deny are influenced by this. The car that I am looking at replacing mine with has the benefit of being able to fit a small family in it (no micro-compact cars for me). Our holiday fund after this year will be focused towards those trips we want to accomplish sans offspring. SB knows that he'll need to propose sometime during the next couple of years LOL. Of course, I fret that I am going to struggle to find a job at the end of this year and that my rego journey is going to take even longer. We've talked about finances and what we will do to ensure that our drop in income is not too heavy while I stay at home. I will return to teaching but we don't need the pressure of me having to return too soon.

It's times like this when I realise how much my life has changed. From high-flying marketing and PR assistant to a woman who looks forward to the day when her job title is Mummy. From self-proclaimed feminist to a traditional girl who wants marriage, babies and to be a wife. From being afraid of the time when I would have to "sacrifice my life" to the time when I look forward to the change on the horizon. In the immortal words of Blink 182 "I guess this is growing up".

P.S. I defined being a grown-up to my Year 12s as the following: "When you see your friend announce her pregnancy on Facebook and you aren't shocked and worried anymore". Yup, growing up.

1 comment:

  1. i mustn't really be a grownup bc i still get shocked if i see a girl from highschool announce her pregnancy!

    ive switched from wanting a glam career in wanting to be a wife and mother too. cannot wait for it to happen. fingers crossed that it does happen for me. need to find a potential father first!