The old and the new...

I don't think it's any secret on my blog how much some of my exes have f**ked me over. I'll never understand how someone can move on so quickly, even if they are the dumper. I'll never understand the idea of giving someone bullshit reasons for the split, even if your aim is for them to hate you so you can move on. I'll never understand the keeping your options open for later (FirstLove) and I'll never understand the ignoring as if you never existed (Ex-S). SB knows my past and although we can't really imagine a future without each other, I know he would let me down gently if this became the case.

Enter awkwardness... NZ clearly isn't that big of a country or the people I know don't move. Within the past year, I've met the current girlfriends of two guys I've been friendly with. At one party, SB and I were sitting at an outside table and introduced ourselves (as you do). This sweet girl pipes up with "I'm (name redacted), (another name redacted)'s girlfriend". SB, familiar with my limited dating history, looked at me and I looked at him. We said nothing and now the girlfriend of the only guy I've ever had a one night stand with has added me on Facebook. She's a sweetheart but I think my gap of saying anything has passed and that's just something I need to keep to myself from now on.

I've also developed some new friendships this year, one of which is with a girl whom we'll call A+. A+ reminds me of a 20-year-old version of myself - not conventionally cute but certainly attractive, funny, geeky and generally a great person to chat to. She usually comes to parties in our circle of friends with a guy we'll call A-. The hitch? A- is not her boyfriend. Ex-S is.

Yes, that is right. Completely unexpectedly I have become friends with Ex-S's current girlfriend. Both A+ and I know that it is completely bizarre but I've moved on so far from my relationship with Ex-S that she has no fear of me "wanting him back" and while I think she has appalling taste in men I'm willing to judge her on her personal merits LOL. While we've been friendly for a while now, what made this blogworthy is that on Saturday night, we hung out.

Scribbles, SB, Ex-S and A+. Standing on the lawn at a house party. SB officially introducing himself to Ex-S. A+ and I comparing that we had the same hat (she in pink, me in red). Noticing the similarities and the fact that A+ and I could be taken for sisters. Noticing the differences and the fact that SB stands tall and proud that he is with me. Noticing the feelings - my hope that while I still don't like Ex-S for how he treated me, I hope that this works for him; my wishes for A+'s sake that he treats her well because she doesn't deserve to be shattered; my admiration of SB for being the better man, the wonderful man and the man I want to spend the rest of my life with; the content in myself that, really, this is the way that it was all meant to pan out, that the pain has gone and that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Amazing the difference a couple of years make.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That's big of you. Personally, I'd find this kind of situation all too weird and disturbing, but I'm told that not everybody is like me, lol. I freaked out enough when I bumped into my ex a few months ago in Briscoes and he introduced me to his wife. While she seemed nice enough, and I'm fine with him after several years' break, I can't imagine us all being friends.