Why do I expect better? I was brought up in a household that encouraged me to do what ever I did to the best of my ability. I work hard to be a good daughter (stop laughing Mum, you know I try), a good girlfriend, a good teacher and a good friend. In the last two fields I'm feeling some push back from a selected few people... that the way they are treating me shows they feel that I am not a good teacher or a good friend.
While wallowing in my misery last night (as SB did my chores, bless him) I asked myself "Why am I so hurt by this?". If I got down to the basics it was because I felt like I busted my ass for these colleagues and these friends and I felt like there was no appreciation, nay, no recognition of me going above and beyond the "call of duty". It's almost like that relationship saying "Don't make someone your priority if you are only their option".
This morning I dealt with the second hard question "What can YOU change?". I can't change my colleague's perception of me. I can't change the friends who seem to be doing a piss poor job of actually being my friend. I can change:
- my perception of my current situation - I am spending TOO much time thinking about those people who are impacting me negatively
- my response to those negative people - instead of swallowing my colleague's comments, I can actually stand up to them. Just because you have been teaching for 15 years doesn't make you a better teacher
- my martyr attitude - I know that these friends are not going to be the ones to support me when I need it... why do I keep putting myself on the line for them? Stop it, Scribs! Stop being such a damn doormat.
I already feel like such a weight has been lifted off my chest... don't focus on the things you can't change, Scribblettes. Instead, think "What can you change?"