Taking control...

Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that Mama Scribbles has had a small recurrence of her cancer in one of her lymph nodes below her rib cage. It could definitely be worse - it hasn't spread from the original location. In reality, it's more of a pain in the ass then something to fall apart over and our family is continuing along focusing on the positive. Radiation (for Mama Scribs anyway) is far easier than chemo to deal with (think morning sickness and food poisoning's bastard child vs. a bad sunburn) so we just need to chin up and support mum tackling the bastard little Gerties.

I think one of the worst things about having an ill loved one is the complete lack of anything you can do about it. You can be there for them, take them to appointments, chat with them but in the end you are just on the sideline watching them fight their own personal battle. For a control freak like myself, it's tough to have a challenge like this.

So I'm throwing myself into things that I can control and affect - my job search, my group assignments and a friend's pre-wedding parties. It has a hint of the former event manager life I used to lead and part of me wonders whether it would be worth it to head back down that path but I think that teaching is definitely the right path for me right now. Who knows... maybe "Day Of" co-ordinating is a business I can set up when I'm being a SAHM a few years from now. Choices, choices....

2 comments:

  1. Hey Lovely,

    I'm so sorry that Mama Scribbles has to go through all this again! My thoughts are with you, her and your family.

    The fact that you 'do' have these things to control is probably doing you a whole lot of good as a coping mechanism... & you never know, your experience now, may just come in handy! :) xx

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  2. It's the worse thing when you can't do anything to take control especially to help the ones you love. My thoughts are with you and your family too!

    Hope your managing to cope but not get too run down!

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