I always find that my writing frequency decreases when I am in a bad mood. I guess that it is that I don't want to come across to the internet as a big whiney baby. "There's always someone worse off than you" keeps running through my head at an alarming rate. The fact that I was wanting to chew off my fist out of sheer frustration this afternoon begs to differ. So I give you the option now of stopping reading this purely self-indulgent pity party of a post if you want... now.
Waiting... on my world to change...
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You're still here? Either you are really sweet or really bored :) Strap yourself in and hold on for the ride.
JOB: I went for a teaching interview the Friday before last. Was meant to find out by the following Wednesday. Got a text at 4pm Wednesday to say that they weren't making a decision until this week. Texted to touch base today, got no reply as of yet. Worried about being rostered on for next week at part-time job (and having to "abandon" part time job if I get this job), worried that all this delay means that I don't have the job and worrying that if I do get the job I'm going to have sweet FA time to plan for what I'm actually going to teach. I'm worried that I'm not going to have a job and I'm going to have to stay selling bras and undies for at least another term. I'm worried that leaving my job in marketing and PR to "follow my heart" was possibly one of the shittiest ideas I've ever had.
HOUSING: Still living at mum and dad's. Most places we look at are shitty in nice areas or nice in shitty areas, vastly overpriced for what they are or next to the Mongrel Mob. We've found a few places that seem to be liveable in the last week but the Property Managers are taking forever to get back to us. A little part of me worries that me not having full-time employment is part of the reason that they are taking so long... or they are incredibly lazy. Or they hate me. I didn't say this post was going to make a lot of sense. Our lack of ease at finding a place is also putting a strain on SB and I that we can withstand, but I don't like it.
HEALTH: I guess one of the perks of being underemployed is that I have a heck of a lot of time to work out. Today I did a "The Biggest Loser" workout on the Nintendo Wii and a vibration training work out. On the downside, Mama Scribs has caught the whooping cough and is in isolation at Auckland Hospital. It's apparently fairly common for people going through chemo but it still sucks balls and is an added stress.
BEING BORED OFF MY TITS: I think this is probably my biggest problem. All my friends are working, I have very little cash. I exercise and I read and I do sweet FA else. I drove out to a cafe (about quarter of an hour out in the country) and bought the cheapest food on the menu just so I could get out of the house. I could never be a lady-of-leisure... although then maybe money would not be such an issue and I would be able to do things instead of stay home and be bored. I'm not a person who enjoys doing nothing all the time and I'm not working enough at my part-time job to feel that I'm not just wasting my life away.
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Wow.... so there's some word-vomit for you. Don't delete me off your RSS... I'm still hopeful, as ever, that things will improve. And so will my writing. Pity party out.
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